Picture this: You're an aging widow living in a house that has become way too big for you. Winter is relatively easy; all you have to do is dust and vacuum. But spring makes you weak in the knees, because that garden you built 50 years ago is begging for attention that you haven't been able to give it for years. Now that the daffodils are coming up, you can no longer ignore it: You go out and prune a few roses, rake up a bag or two of leaves and retreat to your recliner, overwhelmed and aching, wondering what in the world you were thinking when you replaced all that lawn with flower beds.

If that sounds like someone you know, and you've got some extra energy and strength to spare, maybe the coming spring will be your chance to lend a hand -- and in the process to develop a Christ-honoring relationship with her. 

If she's already a Christian, you'd be obeying the Lord's command to love one another (see John 13 and 15, for starters). And if she's not -- well, what better way to show the love of Christ than to help her complete a job that's probably breaking her heart?   

You don't have to be an experienced gardener. She will teach you all you need to know. In fact, she'll probably work at your side, finding new joy in spring clean-up now that she's no longer undertaking it alone. 

And what an opportunity to present the gospel! The spring garden offers ample opportunities to talk about the word of God. For instance:

• Pruning a vine or shrub? Refer to John 15. "I am the true vine," Jesus said, "and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit." Just think of the insights she could lend to this metaphor.
• If you’re helping to prepare and plant a seedbed, consider 1 Corinthians 15 and the metaphor that the apostle Paul used to address the question of our resurrected bodies. "What you sow is not made alive unless it dies," he wrote. "And what you sow, you do not sow that body that shall be, but mere grain..."  What a compelling lead-in to a discussion of heaven.
• When clean-up is complete, perhaps you’ll be moved to compare the results to the perfection of the Garden of Eden in Genesis 2 and 3.  For it was here that the Master Gardener defined mankind’s purpose, and here that mankind blew it by believing the lie and disobeying Him. And it will be in just such a place, according to at least some Christians, that the Lord will restore His perfect kingdom once again, for all eternity – another excellent segue into the subject of heaven, and how to ensure yourself of a place there.

 
That’s just the start. For more examples, simply google a phrase like “gardening metaphors in the Bible.” 

Who knows? If you’ve never before experienced the scent of moist garden soil in spring, you may find yourself developing a wonderful new hobby – one that your new friend might feed by giving you divisions of some of her favorite old, and overgrown, perennials. 

But most important, you’ll either be expressing your love for a fellow believer, or living out the Great Commission -- planting, watering and feeding seeds of faith that the Lord will make grow. 

The snow may still be blanketing our lawns, but it won't be long before we see the buds swelling on our trees. And it's never too soon to begin planning new ways to plant the seeds of the gospel in a neighbor's heart.

Feeling weary? Discouraged? Hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down, as the apostle Paul described in 2 Corinthians 4? 

Whatever your age, it's time to put things in perspective. For Christians, this beautiful rendition of a favorite hymn may be the perfect remedy! ​

How’s this for some terrific advice?

• When God speaks, we need to listen and obey.
• It’s foolish for a child of God to try to escape; we can run but we cannot hide.
• If we’re His, we’d best leave our bitterness behind and serve instead as willing channels for His love.

 
These were among the key themes of “A Failure To Communicate,” Chris Carrillo’s latest address to the folks at Care-age of Brookfield’s January Christian Music Hour.  
 
Opening up the book of Jonah, Chris delivered a doozy of a message in under 20 minutes – a message with critical advice for God-fearing people of all ages. So grab a cup of coffee, sit back and prepare to be edified, enlightened and even entertained by the preacher that the Lord has blessed us with:

(If you’re reading this via email, please click on the title above to be taken to the audio.)

Want to hear more from Chris? Visit our Messages from Chris Carrillo page soon.   

From just about any angle, long-term care (LTC) is an incredibly complex subject. When you start digging into it, it’s easy to become overwhelmed by the options that greet you at every turn.  
 
Fortunately, the wonderful website Fiscal Tiger has put together a terrific starter resource in its ​Long Term Care for Seniors and People with Disabilities: A Comprehensive Guide. It’s free, and it will give you a solid grounding in the basics—as well as links to many resources for further information.
 
This is the last in our series on finances for the elderly, particularly after a diagnosis of dementia. You’ll find the others here:

• Financial planning in the wake of a dementia diagnosis
• Care costs: what to plan and budget for
• Long-term-care planning

 
I hope you find this material helpful; it was provided for us by Heidi Paris, Fiscal Tiger’s Outreach Coordinator. While this site offers financial advice for virtually anyone, we found its coverage of issues of importance to dementia patients and their families particularly useful. Have questions? Heidi suggests contacting tim@fiscaltiger.com. 

 
Possibly one of the most costly aspects of care for Alzheimer’s and dementia patients is the long term care required for a patient living with any dementia related condition. Making long term care plans involves understanding the stage that the patient is in, as well as acknowledging that dementia is progressive and needs will change over time.
 
Medicare/Disability Insurance: Having access to Medicare and disability insurance like Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) is extremely valuable in terms of short term and long term care costs. Both benefits have attributes that help those living with dementia or Alzheimer’s and their long-term care needs. When considering long term care planning and the costs associated with it, having Medicare or disability insurance will help make those care decisions easier.
 
Long Term Care Insurance: Having long term care insurance is a great way to cover the costs associated with a patient’s care throughout the many stages of disease progression. Unfortunately, once an individual is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, ​they aren’t able to apply for long term care coverage. However, if the patient had it before diagnosis, it can be a great asset.
 
Financial Planners/Advisors: Financial planning and long term care are not the easiest processes. It’s time consuming, and learning nuances can be confusing. Not knowing certain aspects of financial planning can leave a patient without the best care possible. In times like this, it can be helpful to have an outside planner or financial advisor help with the process to avoid any question of dishonesty or self-gain when making decisions for a patient’s finances.
 
Here are some resources:

• Alzheimer’s Association Legal and Financial Worksheet
• Alzheimer’s Association Financial Planning Resources
• Genworth Financial — Compare long term care costs across the United States
• Home modification information — Fisher Center for Alzheimer’s Research Foundation
• Alzheimer’s Association Medicare and Medicaid information

 
Next up: Long Term Care for Seniors and People with Disabilities: A Comprehensive Guide

Here's the second in our series on finances for the elderly, particularly after a diagnosis of dementia. This material has been provided for us by Heidi Paris, Outreach Coordinator for an extraordinary website called Fiscal Tiger. While this site offers financial advice for virtually anyone, we found its coverage of issues of importance to dementia patients and their families particularly useful. Heidi has graciously given us permission to repost this information, so that’s just what we're in the process of doing. Have questions? Heidi suggests you contact tim@fiscaltiger.com.

Care costs are inevitable when someone is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or dementia. Though some care situations will vary, certain needs are universal. Through the use of the patient’s assets and financials, or financial assistance, family members or those advocating for them should have an idea of what can be afforded in terms of budgeting.

• Medical care: One of the aspects of care will include medical care. Prescription drugs, hospital visits, doctor visits, imaging, tests, and regular medical intervention will be needed for a patient living with dementia or Alzheimer’s. There will be many follow up visits, treatment, and medical equipment involved throughout the care process.
• Personal care supplies and home modifications: Personal care supplies and home modifications are needed in order to make life as independent as possible for as long as possible. These items include stools, grab bars, ramps, walkers, commodes, etc. Modifications are similar in need and may be required in order for the patient to get around in their home safely.
• Adult day care or in-home care services: Senior homes and retirement housing come in all shapes and sizes. Some retirement communities offer day care or in-home services instead of the traditional full time residential care option.
• Full-time residential care: Full-time, long-term residential care options can be extremely helpful for dementia patients in later stages especially. With so many safety concerns, it can be best to have medical professionals with them at all times. Some of these facilities specialize as Alzheimer’s and dementia care.

Assistance for Covering Costs of Care

Care costs aren’t cheap, so assistance in covering some of these costs is valuable. For patients with some financial backing (as discovered by going through the complete list of financial documents to be organized), paying for care on their own and with the assistance of medicare or other benefits can leave the patient and their family at ease. However, not all Alzheimer’s and dementia patients will have a strong financial backing to help.

Medical debt can be a burden in many ways, so it’s helpful to understand your assistance options, know your medical debt rights, and the resources available when finances are strained as a result of medical need. Through the the use of health care, medicare, life insurance, medicaid, veterans benefits, and state funded programs, patients can have financial assistance in getting the care they need.

Health Care Coverage: There are many different options under the umbrella of health care coverage. No matter what type of health insurance you have, chances are there is some sort of coverage for the medical costs associated with dementia and Alzheimer’s. However, knowing that for sure involves looking into the private insurance policies in place. If the patient doesn’t have insurance, it’s important to look into other assistance available as well as how to pay hospital bills without insurance and how to negotiate a repayment plan.
 
Medicare: According to the Alzheimer’s Association, Medicare should cover inpatient hospital care, doctor’s fees, some prescription drugs, some home care options, hospice, and wellness visits. If the patient qualifies for Medicare, it’s important to apply for this assistance in order to get the most financial help for the care that will be needed.
 
Life Insurance: Understanding the different types of life insurance policies can be confusing, but some life insurance policies can be used for patients who are still alive. For some, life insurance can be borrowed against to help pay for care. Some policies offer accelerated death benefits  in which benefits can be paid if the insured person is not expected to live beyond the next six to 12 months due to a terminal diagnosis.
 
Medicaid: If a patient does not qualify for Medicare, or qualifies for both Medicare and Medicaid, many aspects of care needed by patients with dementia may be covered. Medicaid does cover all or a portion of nursing home costs, which is a giant expenditure in terms of care costs for those with dementia or Alzheimer’s.
 
Veterans Benefits: If the patient is a veteran, or the spouse of a veteran, there are benefits available that may be able to aid in cost for dementia and Alzheimer’s care. Benefits you receive as a veteran can be supplemental to private insurance. Discussing additional benefits as a veteran with the VA may provide even more support for care costs as some may qualify for help with in-home or assisted living care as well.
 
State Funded Programs: Each state has a different set of programs that are funded to help people in need. Looking into your own state and the help that might be available could be supplemental to any private insurance, veteran benefits, etc. that the patient already has.

Next up: Long-term-care planning

We recently received an invitation to share with you some excellent material on finances for the elderly – an invitation from Heidi Paris, Outreach Coordinator for an extraordinary website called Fiscal Tiger. While this site offers financial advice for virtually anyone, we found its coverage of issues of importance to dementia patients and their families particularly useful. Heidi has graciously given us permission to repost this information, so that’s just what we’ll do over the next few weeks.  

Financial Planning

After a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s or any form of dementia, it can be difficult to go through the steps needed to keep finances in order for the patient. It can be too difficult for some, and both patients and their loved ones may be in denial about the severity of the circumstances. However, it’s vital for someone to take control of the financial planning involved to keep the patient’s care a priority. Most of the time, initiating care for an Alzheimer’s or dementia patient involves organizing financial documents, taking a look into care costs, and evaluating their long-term care needs.

Organizing Financial Documents

Having issues managing finances is generally seen around the moderate decline stage of Alzheimer’s or dementia. However, every person is different. Some may see that aspect of cognitive function dip before or after this stage. For this reason, it’s important to start gathering financial documents as soon as possible. Ideally, it’s important to have these conversations while a patient is of sound mind, before dementia has progressed too far, so that all financial decisions are made with their preferences in mind, and all documents are collected with their help.

The first step in financial planning for someone with dementia is to get an idea of that person’s entire financial situation. This not only includes monthly income and bills, but also things like insurance, pensions, and bank information. Getting this information will vary depending on the cognitive standing of the patient experiencing dementia as well as your relationship with them and their understanding of the process. To begin, follow this checklist for financial documents to get organized in order to have a big picture of their finances.

• Monthly income information: Going through monthly income is a vital step in realizing how much the patient can afford in care.
• Stock and bond certificates: Finances aren’t just about income and bills, it’s also about investments. Looking into stocks and bonds will help to understand more of this person’s finances and if any of these need to be liquidated to pay for care.
• Social Security payment information: Social security can be a vital component of income for many seniors. It’s important to look into this payment information and understand the disability benefits.
• Retirement benefit summary: Gathering an entire retirement benefit summary will help to understand the benefits the patient has, as well as what they qualify for. The patient may have a few sources of retirement income you need to know about.
• Pension benefit summary: Does the patient have a pension plan? Does/did their spouse? Answering these questions will give you a better idea of this aspect in their overall income.
• Monthly bills: As with any budget, you’ll need to get an idea of all of their bills as well as their income.
• Outstanding bills: This might paint a more accurate picture of where they are with their disease. If they have any outstanding bills that need to be paid, or new bills that recently became outstanding, it may be a sign of their cognitive functions dwindling and will let you know if you need to step in with credit card use or other financial decisions.
• Insurance policies: Any insurance policies regarding health will be important here. From health insurance to long-term care insurance policies to life insurance, all of these policies will need to be gathered.
• Mortgage papers: Not only will mortgage papers be important in understanding payment obligations each month, it’s also helpful to know in case it’s beneficial for a patient to get out of a mortgage, or a reverse mortgage, in order to stay in long-term care.
• Deeds: Gather any property deeds in order to have an accurate idea of any assets.
• Bank and brokerage information: Gathering bank and brokerage information will be helpful in organizing all of the financials you can find including account information and balances.

 
For more information, please visit Fiscal Tiger’s page on financial and legal planning for patients and their families.

Next up: Care Costs: What To Plan and Budget For

I am pleased once again to present the inspiring writing of my dear sister in Christ Edna Walls, in the form of the lovely new poem reproduced here with her gracious permission. To read her excellent article "The Value of Being a Widow," please click here. 
​

Who Is This Jesus Whose Birth We Celebrate?

He is the unique Person of the universe.
One of a kind,
Conceived by the Holy Spirit,
Born of a virgin, His throne left behind.
 
His birthplace a stall, animals near,
Located by the eastern star.
The magi found Him in Bethlehem,
bearing gifts from afar.
 
King Herod was troubled by Jesus’ birth.
He sought to kill this Babe in the manger.
But an angel warned Joseph to depart.
To Egypt they went, out of danger.
 
Herod died after several years.
Again the angel appeard in a dream.
“It is safe, take the Child to Israel”
For He shall be called a Nazarene.
 
The Boy grew strong. His Wisdom increased.
In the carpenter shop He worked.
At the age of 12 to the temple He went.
“My Father’s business I cannot shirk.”
 
At age of 30 He was baptized by John.
God proclaimed Him “His beloved Son.”
The wilderness temptation lasted 40 days.
He passed the test – His ministry begun.
 
For three years He walked the land,
Teaching, healing, doing miracles and more.
No one had witnessed these wondrous deeds,
No one had ever done them before.
 
Many people did repent.
But enemies were also made.
They did not believe the Son of God.
Thirty pieces of silver to Judas was paid.
 
A trial was held in Pilate’s court,
A mockery of justice took place.
“Crucify Him” was the cry.
The truth of Messiah could not be faced.
 
To the cross He went for you and me,
This sinless man, so pure,
So sinners could be redeemed.
Shame, suffering, death He did endure.
 
The grave could not hold Him.
Chains of death He snapped.
He now sits in Heaven
Interceding on our behalf.
 
But that isn’t the end.
Some day He will return.
As the King He was meant to be.
What a Redeemer, what a Friend,
This man of Galilee.
 
Now you’ve heard the story of Jesus.
A choice you need to make.
You can believe and live with Him
Or separation from all will be your fate.
 
He did all that was required of Him.
Now you must do your part.
Repent, confess, believe, rejoice,
Thank Him with all your heart.
 
Make this your merriest Christmas.
Jesus wants you in His flock.
This gift of salvation is free.
Plus, King Jesus will be your rock!
 
To those who have trusted Christ
And are living a life with Him,
Share this story of redemption
With the many who are lost in sin.
 
-- Edna Walls, Christmas 2018

Time for an annual reminder:

If you're searching for a present for a friend or loved one who lives in a nursing home, it wouldn't be surprising to learn that the perfect gift is not leaping instantly to mind. It can in fact be a real challenge. But as a veteran of nursing-home buying, I have a few suggestions for you. 

Let's start with a few don'ts:

• It should be obvious, but apparently it is not: Don't bring in anything that the recipient can't eat -- no sugary treats for those with diabetes, no nuts or popcorn for those with diverticulitis. If you have any doubts, do your research and check with a nurse.


• Be sensible: don't give the modern equivalent of a boom box to someone with a roommate -- unless it's accompanied by earphones and instructions for using them.


• Don't give conventional books to someone with failing vision, or books on tape to someone with no means of listening to them. 


• Don't give a gift that could be a fire hazard. That means none of those cute little packages of tea, mug and plug-in cup heater. No hot plates. Nothing that plugs in and heats up.


• Don't give an appliance if it will only cause frustration. A prime problem: phones with built-in answering machines. Younger residents may really appreciate them, but I promise you that they can reduce many old folk to tears in very short order.

There are far better choices available to those who know their residents fairly well. For instance:

• This is the generation that wrote letters, and many still do. Books of pretty stamps are always welcome, as are boxes of stationery or a selection of cards for any occasion -- Get Well, Happy Birthday, Thank You and Thinking of You are perfect.


• Look for wonderful new books or old favorites for a reader, large-print if necessary; I recently discovered a resident with a shared passion for Kathleen Thompson Norris, the highest-paid woman novelist of the early 20th century; she'll be ultra-easy to buy for, since Norris wrote dozens of books and one of the advantages to old age is being hazy about stories read decades ago. 


• Many will welcome reading accessories such as clip-on night lights (with a supply of batteries) or magnifying sheets or glasses.


• If the nursing staff okays it, candy and cookies are always a big hit.  


• How about a jigsaw puzzle, if there's a place to assemble it? And how about personalizing it? I'm currently searching for one featuring turtles for a resident who loves both puzzles and turtles -- if I can find the right one, I think she'll be delighted.

 

• If the home has a beauty shop, you could pay for a shampoo, cut and set for a resident who's low on funds.


• An easy-to-care-for plant may be just the ticket, especially for someone who once enjoyed gardening. Surprisingly, an orchid can be great; it may not live forever, but some of the most common types will bloom for a long time and need only an ice cube a week for moisture. And what an exotic gift it makes!


• For the right resident and the right room, a stuffed toy can turn into a beloved "companion." And there are some very cool, battery-operated cats and dogs available today; but bring extra batteries and make sure there'll be someone available to change them.


• Another nifty gift is a pair of earphones for TV listening. The resident's roommate will appreciate them, and that can help keep the peace for everyone concerned.


• For the man or woman who has everything, you might want to consider making a donation in his or her name to a cause that he or she loves -- his or her church, or a local humane society, or the Rescue Mission or Salvation Army. 

But the best gift at all for someone living in a nursing home is the gift of time. Lavish it on him or her not only during the Christmas season, but every month of the year!