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Looking for love in all the wrong places

6/23/2019

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There’s this woman I used to party with years ago, back in college. She's fit, funny, attractive, and one of relatively few people from my bad old days who has remained friendly with me in spite of my Christian conversion. I don't know why she has. It's quite possible that she doesn't have anyone else. 

I do know that she has spent her entire adult life in a desperate quest for all-out, unequivocal, absolute and unshakable love. She hasn’t found it through multiple marriages, motherhood or grandmotherhood. Nor has she been able to find it in a steady procession of girlfriends, boyfriends and one-night stands. 
 
She has glimpsed it over the years in her cats, she has said, admitting reluctantly that their love is not exactly unconditional. She would have come closer by getting herself a dog. But she doesn’t like dogs. Too dirty. Too much work. Too demanding.
 
She took her search to a Bible church for a while right after 9/11. Not to worship God or learn more about Him, she pointed out at the time, but to find some new friends among these allegedly unselfish people.

Alas, she didn’t like anyone she met there because they only wanted to talk about Jesus and the Bible. And we all know what that means:

“Bo-ring!”
 
The irony is that the object of her quest has been sitting right there in front of her all along. She has simply refused to acknowledge it.
 
I have tried to explain it to her in different ways – most recently, in a little yuppie coffee shop near the zoo.
 
There are at least four Greek words for love, I pointed out this time, with agape being the one she is seeking. It is God's love -- unconditional, sacrificial, a reflection of the fact that He IS love (1 John 4:16). He is the only one capable of providing it, I said. And He has done so, by:

  • Paying for mankind’s sins on the cross, so that anyone who repents and trusts in Him will be redeemed to live with Him in heaven for all eternity
  • Sending the Holy Spirit to dwell in the hearts of His children, in order to transform, comfort, and lead us in the way of all truth (John 16:13)
  • Providing us with His inerrant, inspired word to help the redeemed live and thrive in His love no matter how dire their circumstances may be
 
My friend was silent until she heard my last point. “What nonsense,” she said then. “The Bible is just a bunch of writings by dead men.” (Emphasis on the word “men.” She is an unapologetic feminist.)
 
I tried to explain that the Bible is a love letter from Him to us, the means by which He tells us who He is and who we are. It is, I added, the door to eternal life in heaven with Him, because Peter said we are born again through the Word. "And after all," I added, "Jesus said that unless we are born again, we cannot see the kingdom of God." 
 
She rolled her eyes. "There are many different interpretations of that idea."
 
"The Bible tells us what it means," I said. "Do you want to know what it says?"
 
"No." 
 
Her face was getting red. Okay, so she wasn’t interested. She wanted me to shut up.  
 
Got it. I bit my tongue for all of 20 seconds.
 
But then I couldn’t help myself. “What about those beloved grandchildren of yours?” I asked. “Will they be fine just as long as they believe what you believe?”
 
“Yes,” she hissed in a feline-esque warning for me to back off.  
 
“Is that so?” I said a quick, silent prayer for her and felt my own rising irritation dissipate.  “How do you know? What is your source of authority?”
 
It was too much for her. “I have to go,” she said, grabbing her things and storming out the door.
 
She left without paying for her coffee. And without letting me get to my point. My fault – I’d let myself charge down a rabbit trail again.  
 
What I picture myself saying to her is this: “There is a source of unconditional love in this world. It is highly imperfect, inconsistent, subject to sin. But it exists nevertheless.”
 
“What is it?” she always asks eagerly in my fantasy about this conversation.   
 
“Chances are you've come face to face with it many times,” I reply, “in the hearts of born-again believers – including, perhaps, those you met at church so many years ago. I know you didn’t like them, but maybe you could give them another chance. Their passion for Jesus and the Bible makes them the very people who are most capable of giving you agape love.”

​(I think, but do not say, "And maybe what they have would rub off on you.")
 
Sadly, this particular fantasy never ends well. She always gets mad at this point and leaves in a huff.
 
“Stop!” I call out to her. “Can’t you see that you're cutting yourself off from the very thing you seek?”
 
But she’s just not ready to listen. She may never be. And what an eternal tragedy that would be.  
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It's not yours till you receive it

6/12/2019

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I was reminded recently of a lesson I learned some years back: the fact that gift-giving involves more than the act of offering someone a present; receiving that present is just as important. Until both halves of this transaction have been completed, no gift has been given.
 
It's really very simple, when you think about it.
 
Each year at Christmas, I give my friends at the nursing home small gifts – mostly mere one-size-fits-most tokens of my esteem. In 2014, that meant exotic (but attractively priced) hand lotions from our local Tuesday Morning store.
 
Everyone received these little gifts gladly that year, thankful to have been remembered, with one notable exception--a dear friend I’ll call Theresa. She was very apologetic, but said that she’d already received several enormous bottles of lotion from various friends and just didn’t have room for another.
 
It was perfectly understandable, storage space being in such short supply in a nursing home. I said I'd give her gift to someone else who had nothing more than standard-issue institutional lotion.  She thought that was a fine idea, and a few minutes later I went off to do just that, thankful to have a friend who felt comfortable being completely honest with me. 
 
It wasn't until some time later that it occurred to me: Theresa had not received my gift, so it had not become hers. 
 
This is a fair analogy for what happens when people refuse the free gift of eternal life that Jesus offers every human being--that is, the gift of being transformed into His heaven-bound child, a metamorphosis made possible only because He paid mankind's sin debt in full when He died on the cross almost 2000 years ago.
 
If we don’t receive this gift, it does not become ours.
 
Unfortunately, there are many people who have rejected eternity in heaven simply because they have rejected this gift. That would include those who think they’re shoo-ins because they were born to Christian parents, or attend church when it’s convenient, or believe (oh so sincerely!) in a higher being who goes by another name--Allah or Kali or Bahá'u'lláh, to cite just a few examples. It would also include those who refuse to believe in the gift's existence or in its singular efficacy.
 
According to the demonstrably true Bible, if you want to become a heaven-bound child of God, you must receive the free gift of Christ’s sacrificial death on the cross. As the apostle John wrote, “He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him.  He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him. But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God” (John 1:10-13).
 
Fortunately, receiving Christ is not as complicated as some would have you think. It doesn’t require a lifetime of good works, suffering and sacraments; nor does it require membership in any particular church. It simply requires repenting of your sin and trusting in Jesus to have paid your sin debt in full.
 
Have you received this most important gift of all?
 
If not, please don’t wait. Learn more about it here. Then grow in your new faith by studying the Bible faithfully, if possible getting help and direction from a Bible-teaching church grounded in solid biblical doctrine.
 
Theresa was sorry to have to reject my Christmas gift that year, but I’m glad she did. What an excellent reminder she gave me of the critical importance of receiving the only gift that really matters–the gift of everlasting life that Christians celebrate every day of the year.
 
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." -- John 3:16
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Raising awareness of the temporary

6/5/2019

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If you’re like most Americans, you’re probably acquainted with dozens of diseases and dastardly circumstances, from breast cancer to unwanted pregnancy, heart disease to homelessness.
 
And why not? Each one has been transformed into a magnificent cause under the management of at least one well-funded non-profit. And each one is regularly brought to our attention through well-publicized “awareness” campaigns – the thinking being, I suppose, that if you’re aware of such a cause, you’re likely to make a donation, desperately needed for things like research and lobbying efforts and covering generous executive salaries.  
 
Just one example for the football buffs out there: You have no doubt noticed that most players add shocking pink to their uniforms each October, thereby "raising awareness" of breast cancer.  After all, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. And if more people are aware of breast cancer, more women will undergo mammograms, more biopsies will be performed (most of them negative, thankfully), more lumpectomies will be conducted, more radiation and chemotherapy will be prescribed, and more cash will be flowing into the pockets of nearly everyone concerned (the exceptions being patients and their insurers). 

​But the jury is still out on the big question: will more women's lives be saved? Yes, the healthcare industry is catching more cancers earlier. But the slow-growing ones may not have ever killed their hosts, who end up being subjected to life-diminishing therapies; and the fast-growing cancers can apparently not be stopped permanently. 

So the upshot may be a great increase in the number of cancers detected, a great increase in the number of "cures," but possibly a net improvement of zero in actual lives saved. I'm no statistician, but it really makes me wonder. 

Don't get me wrong: There are a number of women I care about, and have cared about, who have fought the good fight against breast cancer, and are doing so to this day. My prayers are with them for stamina and peace and healing and whatever else they need, and with their doctors for wisdom. 

But I have a question: Are these women and their loved ones really better off because of these "awareness" campaigns? Yes, they raise a lot of money for the organizations whose job it is to raise money for themselves, as well as for "sister" organizations like Planned Parenthood. And they certainly make participants and supporters, both individual and corporate, feel good about their contributions; who can argue against a boost in self-esteem? 

But here's a far more important question: Are we raising awareness of the wrong disease?

The fact is, underlying all this frantic "awareness" activity is the idea that longevity and luxury are the ultimate goals in life -- that, in the end, living just as long as we want to live, and living well, are our entire reason for being.
 
I suppose that makes some sense for those clinging to the idea that this life is all there is. But these folks are tragically wrong, because it's demonstrably true that we will all live eternally one place or another. And it's demonstrably true that our personal destinations for all eternity depend exclusively on our relationship with Jesus Christ.  

This is what makes it so sad that most of the world, led by a spiritually blind news media, spends so much time and energy and share of mind on these eternally useless fund-raisers.  

I think we Christians should launch our own awareness campaign. Maybe we could get whoever decides these things to declare a Jesus Christ Awareness month. We could suggest a veritable explosion of media coverage on Resurrection Day. 

Just think of the message: The disease is sin, the solution is repentance and faith leading to salvation through the blood of Jesus Christ, and the cure is eternal. And no donations (or brightly colored accessories) are needed! How could it fail? 
 
It may take us some time to get our ducks in order on this one. But the good news is that you needn’t wait. If you have yet to repent and trust in Christ for eternal life, you can do it today. 
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    Kitty
    Foth-Regner

    I'm a follower of Jesus Christ, a freelance copywriter, a nursing-home volunteer, and the author of books both in-process and published -- including Heaven Without Her. 

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