"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." --Matthew 7:7

Every verse of the Bible contains a wealth of knowledge, wisdom and understanding for any serious student of God's word -- and Matthew 7:7 is an excellent example, as we learned yesterday at the Christian Music Hour at Care-age of Brookfield. Here, preacher extraordinaire Chris Carrillo blessed us with a 15-minute exploration of this verse, answering such questions as these:

• Does God hear the prayer of an unbeliever?
• What should we be asking for?
• Why do we need to continue seeking Him even after we're saved?
• Should we keep "knocking" if He doesn't seem to be responding? 

If you'd like to hear this important message, here it is: ​

“And I say to you, make friends for yourselves by unrighteous mammon, that when you fail, they may receive you into an everlasting home.” (Luke 16:9)
 
You may recall that Jesus provided this advice in wrapping up the Parable of the Unjust Steward – the corrupt employee who, faced with being fired for mismanagement of his employer’s goods, assured himself of a comfortable future by slashing the debts of his employer’s many debtors.
 
I suppose there are many possible interpretations of this passage, and in particular of verse 9. But personally, I think Jesus was saying, “If you’re going to use your resources to buy the favor of others, use them to make friends who’ll be there to welcome you into heaven.”
 
Which seems to me to be another excellent reason for investing yourself in the lives and hearts of elderly long-term-care residents.
 
Like any Christian who has spent a lot of time helping out at a nursing home, I have a long list of friends who’ll be there to greet me when I get to heaven. In fact, several went on ahead only a few weeks ago. I miss them one and all – but oh, the thought of seeing them again, wearing their glorious spiritual bodies, free at last from the grief, pain, fear, disappointments and all the limitations of this fallen world!
 
Of course, nothing will match the joy of being in the presence of the One who died for us. But I have a sneaking suspicion that our reunions with these friends will be unspeakably grand. After all, planning ahead for this particular welcoming committee was Jesus’ idea! If you haven’t already started assembling yours, why not get started today? 

I recently received a wonderful email from Susan Williams of Senior Care Helper, an online resource for seniors and those who care for them. Susan, who blogs on this site, has compiled a list of terrific online resources that she loves, and has graciously offered to share them with us. Whether you're making plans for your own future or a loved one's, here are some great places to start:

Making the Move to Assisted Living

Moving Tips for Seniors

Senior Health Resources

Nutrition Guide for the Aging and Elderly

Boomer’s Roadmap to Aging in Place

Financial Resources for Seniors

Guide to Medicare and Medicaid for Seniors

Veterans Benefits for Seniors

Legal Planning for Alzheimer's and Dementia

​Thanks, Susan!

A wonderful message, composed and delivered by the very beautiful Wanda B. Goines. (If you're reading this in an email, click on the title above to see the video, posted at Everlasting Place/Golden Years.)

If you’re searching for a skilled nursing facility (SNF) for a loved one, you undoubtedly have at the ready a list of questions covering everything from costs to quality control, from bathing schedule to activities. But here are some additional subjects you might want to explore with each admissions director you interview; the answers could save you both confusion and frustration down the road.  
 
1. What’s your overarching goal in caring for my loved one? 

Personally, I’d like to hear that the home under consideration has, as its top priority, ensuring my loved one of a comfortable, safe, loving and stimulating environment for the rest of his or her life. 
 
And I’d like to know how this place demonstrates it. For example, does its Activities staff go to great lengths to keep residents’ creative juices flowing? Does Dietary bend over backwards to tempt even fussy eaters? Does the Physical Therapy team specialize in my loved one’s problems?
 
In short, ask the admission director what’s extraordinary about his or her facility, and how that might impact your loved one.
 
2. What exactly can you do for us?  

It never hurts to ask an admissions director to spell out the advantages this facility offers residents.
 
You might ask him or her what they tell government inspectors about their capabilities – and to translate this language into plain English to communicate what it means to your loved one.
 
For example, how many clinical staff hours does each resident receives per day? What is this home’s track record on minimizing falls or choking events, or hastening the diagnosis and treatment of UTIs? Then the clincher: what steps are beign taken to further improve this facility's performance in each of these areas?
 
This is the kind of detail that can reveal a great deal about how much a particular SNF team cares about its residents.
 
3. What can’t you do?   

Some residents' families assume that their loved ones will remain under 24-hour-a-day observation in a skilled nursing facility. Then, when something bad happens beyond the staff’s field of view, thoughts of neglect or abuse leap to their minds.
 
What’s more, some families blame the SNF for things that are totally out of any facility’s control – especially when the government has tied its hands. In Wisconsin, for instance, bed rails cannot be provided until a resident has actually fallen out of bed and hurt himself. The reason: it smacks of restraint.
 
Such restrictions mean that occasional falls are almost inevitable in even the finest nursing homes. Don’t let your expectations get out of whack. Instead, determine up front what the rules are, and what this particular facility is doing to keep its residents safe and sound in spite of the most confounding restrictions. 
 
4. Are you trying to rip us off? 

Many people feel like they’re being ripped off by nursing homes – and indeed, it may seem like they’re all in cahoots, charging similarly exorbitant fees.
 
Why not discuss the financial nitty gritty up front? Find out what private, round-the-clock care would cost in your area, and in your home. Then ask each admissions director what hidden extras you'd be getting for your buck. For instance, what kind of investment does this SNF make in continuous staff training each year? In keeping the place spotless? In maintaining a warm and inviting environment? In keeping up with ever-evolving regulations? 
 
And then how about exploring the financial realities of nursing-home P&L? Specifically, what proportion of a private-pay resident’s “rent” goes to subsidize someone who can’t pay his or her own way? Whichever side of this equation you’re on at the moment, you’re likely to be pleasantly surprised to learn that your loved one will continue to receive quality care even if he or she runs out of money.  
 
5. If we have a complaint, what do we do?  

If your loved one is in a home for any length of time, issues will undoubtedly arise. So ask what you should do if you have concerns or complaints. Whose job is it to advocate and intervene for your family? And if that doesn’t work, what’s the next step?
 
What am I forgetting?
 
If you have other less-obvious questions that should be asked before signing a loved one up for SNF living, please drop me a note. I'll then begin compiling Good Questions, Part 2.