If you're searching for a present for a friend or loved one who lives in a nursing home, it wouldn't be at all surprising to learn that the perfect gift is not leaping instantly to mind. It can in fact be a real challenge. But as a veteran of nursing-home buying, I have a few suggestions for you.

Let's start with a few don'ts:

• It should be obvious, but apparently it is not: Don't bring in anything that the recipient can't eat -- no sugary treats for those with diabetes, no nuts or popcorn for those with diverticulitis (although that may be an old wives' tale, as a study published in 2009 seems to indicate). If you have any doubts, do your research and check with a nurse.

• Be sensible: don't give a boom box to someone with a roommate -- unless it's accompanied by earphones and instructions for using them.


• Don't give conventional books to someone with failing vision, or books on tape to someone with no means of listening to them. 

• Don't give a gift that could be a fire hazard. That means none of those cute little packages of tea, mug and plug-in cup heater. No hot plates. Nothing that plugs in and heats up without automatically turning itself off after a few unattended minutes.


• Don't give an appliance if it will only cause frustration. A prime problem: phones with built-in answering machines. Younger residents may really appreciate them, but I promise you that they can reduce many old folk to tears in very short order.

There are far better choices available to those who know their residents fairly well. For instance:

• This is the generation that wrote letters, and many still do. Books of pretty stamps are always welcome, as are boxes of stationery or a selection of cards for any occasion -- Get Well, Happy Birthday, Thank You and Thinking of You are perfect.


• Look for wonderful new books or old favorites for a reader, large-print if necessary; I recently discovered a resident with a shared passion for Kathleen Thompson Norris, the highest-paid woman novelist of the early 20th century. (I'll blog about her books one of these days. She's wonderful!)


• Many will welcome reading accessories such as clip-on night lights (with a supply of batteries) or magnifying sheets or glasses.


• If the nurse okays it, candy and cookies are always a big hit. 


• How about a jigsaw puzzle, if there's a place to assemble it? And how about personalizing it? I'm currently searching for one featuring turtles for a resident who loves both puzzles and turtles -- if I can find the right one, I think she'll be delighted.


• If the home has a beauty shop, you could pay for a shampoo, cut and set for a resident who's low on funds (which seems to be most of them).

• An easy-to-care-for plant may be just the ticket, especially for someone who once enjoyed gardening. Surprisingly, an orchid can be great; it may not live forever, but some of the most common types will bloom for a long time and need only an ice cube a week for moisture. And what an exotic gift it makes!


• For the right resident and the right room, a stuffed toy can turn into a beloved "companion." And there are some very cool, battery-operated cats and dogs available today; but bring extra batteries and make sure there'll be someone available to change them.


• Another nifty gift is a pair of earphones for TV listening. The resident's roommate will appreciate them, and that can help keep the peace for everyone concerned; and your loved one won't have to miss a thing. 


• For the man or woman who has everything, you might want to consider making a donation in his or her name to a cause that he or she loves -- his or her church, or a local humane society, or the Rescue Mission or Salvation Army. 

But the best gift at all for someone living in a nursing home is the gift of time. Lavish it on him or her not only during the Christmas season, but every month of the year! 

If you have a bed-ridden loved one, take note: preventing painful and deadly bedsores may be as simple as switching to a foam mattress, according to a new study reported on recently at Health.com.

Of course, these mattresses are much more expensive than conventional mattresses, but when you consider the pain and suffering they can apparently prevent, not to mention the care and treatment costs that could be slashed, it seems like there'd be a huge return on this investment.

Take a look at Health.com's report:

"Nursing home residents whose beds have newer high-density foam mattresses may not have to be turned every two hours to prevent bedsores, according to a new study.

"The two-hour standard, which has been used for more than 50 years, was necessary because older mattresses that had spring coils and were covered in thick plastic put more pressure on residents’ bodies than the newer high-density foam mattresses, the researchers explained.

"Their study included 960 nursing home residents in 29 facilities in the United States and Canada who had a moderate to high risk of developing bedsores (also called pressure sores) and had high-density foam mattresses on their beds. The participants were randomly assigned to be turned at intervals of two, three or four hours.

"After three weeks, none of the residents had developed serious bedsores, according to the U.S. National Institutes of Health-funded study recently published in the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society.

“'We are very interested in preventing pressure ulcers. It’s a serious health
problem. Also, we’re interested in improving care for nursing home residents.
Turning residents every two hours throughout the night awakens them, and many people can’t go back to sleep, therefore decreasing their quality of life,' 
study leader Nancy Bergstrom, associate dean at the University of Texas Health
Science Center at Houston School of Nursing, said in a center news release.


"'The study findings show 'that turning residents every two hours may no longer be necessary when high-density mattresses are in place and nursing time can be used to attend to other resident needs, such as feeding, assisted mobility and ultimately develop a stronger relationship with their residents,' study co-leader Susan Horn, of the Institute for Clinical Outcomes Research, said in the news release.

"More information

 "The American Academy of Family Physicians has more about bedsores."

Thank you, Health.com, for reporting on a study that could ultimately make a huge difference to many people!

Here's one way to handle the problem of an aging population in an era of skyrocketing healthcare costs. Leave it to the Germans to figure out a cost-efficient solution. (This is from the UK's Daily Mail -- as far as I know, the US media have yet to report this story, now almost a year old. I wonder why.)

Germany accused of 'deporting'
its elderly:
Rising numbers moved to Asia and  Eastern Europe because of sky-high care costs   

• Country's elderly and sick being sent abroad  due to rising care costs
• Situation described as 'inhumane deportation' and a huge 'alarm signal'
• Warning to Britain where pensioners are  selling homes to pay for healthcare
   

German pensioners are being sent to care  homes in Eastern Europe and Asia in what has been described as an ‘inhumane  deportation’.

Rising numbers of the elderly and sick are  moved overseas for long-term care because of sky-high costs at home.

Some private healthcare providers are even  building homes overseas, while state insurers are also investigating whether  they can care for their clients abroad.

Experts describe a time bomb’ of increasing  numbers unable to afford the growing costs of retirement homes.  
 
Inhumane: Rising numbers of Germany's elderly and sick are being sent to care homes in Eastern Europe and Asia because of rising care home costs.

And they say the situation should be a  warning to Britain, where rising numbers of pensioners are forced to sell their  homes to pay for care.

The Sozialverband Deutschland (VdK), a  socio-political advisory group, said the fact that many Germans were unable to  afford the costs of a retirement home in their own country was a huge ‘alarm signal’.

‘We simply cannot let those people, who built  Germany up to be what it is, be deported,’ VdK’s president Ulrike Mascher told  The Guardian. ‘It is inhumane.’  
 
Researchers found an estimated 7,146 German  pensioners living in retirement homes in Hungary in 2011. 

More than 3,000 were in the Czech Republic  and more than 600 in Slovakia. There were also unknown numbers in Spain, Greece  and the Ukraine, as well as Thailand and the Philippines.

Some told researchers they were there out of  choice as costs were lower, while standards of care were often higher. 

But many others admitted they moved reluctantly.  
 
According to Germany’s federal bureau of  statistics, more than 400,000 senior citizens cannot afford a German retirement  home, a figure growing by around 5 per cent a year. This is because many are living for longer while their pensions are stagnating.

As a result, the Krankenkassen – or statutory  insurers that make up Germany’s state insurance system – are discussing cheaper  care in foreign retirement homes.

EU law prevents state insurers from signing  contracts with overseas homes.

But that is likely to change as legislators  are forced to respond to Europe’s aging population.

Artur Frank, the owner of Senior Palace – which finds care homes for Germans in Slovakia – said it was wrong to suggest  senior citizens were being ‘deported’.

‘Many are here of their own free will, the  results of sensible decisions by their families who know they will be better  off,’ he said.

Ever since I first saw Vivien Leigh as Scarlett O’Hara pouring her heart out (kind of) to her father in the opening scene of Gone with the Wind, I’ve been a big fan of old movies. Not that I’ve seen hundreds of them, but I’ve seen enough to notice something very curious about what they have taught Americans.  
 
Exhausted from a heavy work load, I recently watched, for the first time, A Streetcar Named Desire. Vivien herself stars in this 1951 movie (“film,” I guess sophisticated people call a critically acclaimed movie, which mostly seems to mean any that attack the moral fiber of this nation).

If you haven’t seen it yourself, it’s about aging southern belle Vivien visiting her sister, who is married to the absolutely disgusting Marlon Brando. Vivien presents herself as a very refined and proper belle, but of course it turns out she really isn’t –she’s been promiscuous. When her past comes to light, she is dumped by a nice man who’s been courting her, apparently something ugly happens off-screen with Brando, and she is last seen being hauled off to the local insane asylum. 
 
I have to admit it. I responded for a moment exactly the way playwright Tennessee Williams wanted me to respond, by thinking, “What happened to a woman like that in those days, branded with a scarlet letter and without the resources or skills she needs to take care of herself?”
 
Good grief! Why in the world didn’t I view this whole personal-disaster display through God’s eyes? 
 
Why didn’t I think, “That’s what happens when we disobey God’s clear teaching on sex outside of marriage”? 
 
And “That’s what happens to people who have swept their consciences so clean of His commands that they’ve provided demons with a nice empty place to nest”? 
 
And “That’s what happens when we refuse to repent and leave ourselves fit only to profit the psychiatric industry”?  
 
And “That’s what happens to those who turn their backs on, and their noses up at, the love of genuine Christians who would take them in and help them embrace the Lord’s forgiveness and the second chance that He offers everyone”?
 
Hollywood has been railing against that kind of thinking from the start, and we’d do well to keep that in mind as we witness to unbelievers whose thinking has been shaped not by the Bible but by the entertainment industry.
 
One good thing should come out of this, at any rate: what a great icebreaker this will be for discussing biblical truth with the most alert of my friends at the nursing home.