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"Do not cast me off"

8/29/2019

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There’s nothing new under the sun, King Solomon assured his readers in the first chapter of Ecclesiastes.  And indeed, stories of children rebelling against, abusing and abandoning their parents seem to be almost as old as time. 
 
“Honor your father and mother …” may be the fifth of the Lord’s commandments delivered in Exodus 20, but it’s the first to instruct us on our relationships with each other, rather than with Him. 
 
Does that imply that it’s more important than His commandments against murdering, committing adultery, stealing, lying, and coveting? Or might it imply that it’s foundational to commandments six through ten? 
 
“Do not cast me off in the time of old age; do not forsake me when my strength fails.” 
 
This petition from King David’s Psalm 71 was directed at God Himself, but it could have been addressed by an elderly parent to his or her children. And it’s a common plea today, even if it’s often left unspoken by parents who have learned that it does no good, and may even turn disinterest into hostility. 
 
In some cases, these mothers and fathers are still living on their own; in others, they’re kenneled in facilities where not even the most loving staff can make up for a family’s neglect. The common denominator: an unmet longing to be included in the lives of children and grandchildren who acknowledge them only on special occasions. 
 
And it can get worse: Some children have nothing to do with their parents; they refuse to even send a card at Christmas, or call to acknowledge a milestone birthday. This may seem unbelievable, but check it out: There are a growing number of books and websites out there to help abandoned parents cope with this loss.  
 
Psychiatrists have even given it a name: “Parental alienation syndrome.” It often seems to follow in the wake of divorce, but not always; sometimes we kids are just too wrapped up in our own lives to be bothered with mothers or fathers who have outlived their usefulness.

“In the last days, perilous times will come.” 
 

In his second letter to his protégé Timothy, the apostle Paul listed 18 characteristics of people in earth’s dangerous last days. Here are the first six: “lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents.” 
 
Disobedient to parents?
 
Think that means only those out-of-control kids at the next table at your favorite restaurant? Or might it also refer to children of all ages who treat their parents with disrespect or indifference? 
 
And, increasingly, with something more chilling than disrespect and indifference, more chilling even than neglect and abandonment. Witness the rapid growth of elderly euthanasia in Europe; we’re already seeing the early stages of it in the United States. 
 
Of course, active euthanasia is only needed for those stubborn old folk who linger on and on, refusing to die. For the rest, there’s always the withholding of medical care. Higher co-pays and fewer benefits are on the way for senior Americans. And it’s not difficult to see that reimbursement cuts will lead to even more doctors opting out of accepting Medicare patients – this, just as the elderly population begins to swell with the arrival of us Baby Boomers.
 
Lower supply and higher demand ordinarily means higher prices. But not when Uncle Sam has slapped on price controls and the demand is unrelenting; in that case, the supply is bound to suffer, both in quantity and quality. 
  
“Even to your old age, I am He.”

 One thing has not changed, however, and will never change. 
 
“Even to your old age, I am He,” the prophet Isaiah quotes the Lord as saying in chapter 46 of his Old Testament book. “And even to gray hairs I will carry you! I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you.”
 
The God who created this universe and everything in it has always been our only hope. A fair proportion of today’s nursing-home population acknowledges this fact; I have run into relatively few who deny Him entirely, anyway.
 
But I tremble to think what the situation will be a decade or two from now, as the newly elderly take their place, with relatively few even certain of His existence, and their children and grandchildren living in blissful ignorance of the divine command to honor their parents.  
 
In Galatians 6, the apostle Paul warned, “whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” Perhaps there’s an application here for today’s parents: If you want your children to  acknowledge you in your old age, it would be wise to sow the word of God in their hearts today.
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Blessings all around

8/21/2019

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If a picture's worth a thousand words, imagine the wealth that awaits you in a nursing home, among residents who've stashed away many lifetimes' worth of snapshots--snapshots that are just waiting for someone with the time and interest to look at them.

For more than four years, I spent hour after hour going through loose photos with a dear friend whom I'll call Anne, who was well into her 90s. At first, we just looked at them as she told me all about each of the people and places pictured--almost all of the former long gone by that time. But that Christmas, I gave her a pink pigskin photo album and we started going through her collection very seriously, selecting the best in order to build a photographic life story for her beloved daughter.

Within a year, we had filled three photo albums. Our project seemed to be finished. But then it occurred to us that we could create a much more dazzling product if we had more room to work with. And so we began learning a new art together: building formal scrapbooks for her collection, complete with wonderful papers, silk flowers, stickers, ribbons and multi-colored jewels. Anne was the designer; I was production assistant. Before she passed away in 2017, we had completed two big, beautiful books filled with her memories. And if I do say so myself, they are pretty spectacular.
​

Anne seemed to enjoy our sessions; she smiled and laughed a lot as we went through the photos, just as she did throughout her life. In all that time, I found only one snapshot of her looking sad -- probably because, like my own mom, Anne was a woman whose life was perfectly described in a poem by Jan Struther ofMrs. Miniver fame.  Entitled "Biography," this poem invites its readers to just say this of her life once she’s dead and gone: “‘Here lies one doubly blest.’ Say, ‘She was happy.’ Say, ‘She knew it.’” 

There's no doubt that Anne led a very happy life, and remembering the specifics helped her to count every last blessing once again. 

But I suspect that I was the recipient of the greatest blessings from the time we spent together. Anne was easily old enough to be my mother, and her daughter is my age, so examining her photos was like peering back at my own family's history, and my own deleriously happy childhood. I was especially crazy about those shot from the 1950s, featuring all that mid-century modern decor, all those women wearing neatly fitted dresses, stockings, heels, hats and gloves for virtually any occasion--even lunch out with the girls. 

Anne wasn't the first of my nursing-home friends to take me on a photographic tour of a life well-lived, and I hope she won't be the last. But I have to say that our time together was one of the highlights of my almost 20-year volunteer career, and I'll be forever grateful to her.
 
If you visit elderly friends--especially shut-ins--don't pass up this wonderful opportunity to share the joys and sorrows of their lives with them. I guarantee that a great time will be had by all!
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A terrific introduction to the Word of God

8/6/2019

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Is it just me? Or have you, too, found it challenging to winningly introduce the Bible to people who are unfamiliar with it?
 
That has certainly been my experience in the nursing home where I’ve been serving for nearly two decades. In this environment, it’s rare to talk with someone who has even read the entire Bible, let alone studied it in any depth. Most residents’ familiarity with Scripture is limited to hearing a few passages read aloud in church each week (and even that is becoming increasingly uncommon).
 
So how exactly can one convey the Bible’s unrivaled significance as the inspired and inerrant Word of God—the only book that, as the Gideons so lovingly describe it, “contains the mind of God, the state of man, the way of salvation, the doom of sinners, and the happiness of believers”?
 
Here’s a great new solution: A Visual Theology Guide to the Bible by pastors Tim Challies and Josh Byers (Zondervan, 2019). If that title sounds a little heavy, check out the subtitle: Seeing and Knowing God’s Word. Then take a gander at the book’s inviting cover and flip through its lively content. You’ll discover that there’s nothing imposing or forbidding about this beautifully organized and illustrated volume.
 
And oh, the content!
 
“Part 1: Trusting the Bible” sets the stage, describing everything from what the Bible is and how it was written to how we know that we can trust it.
 
“Part 2: Studying the Bible” explains why we should study this book, and how best to go about it.
 
“Part 3: Seeing the Bible” goes through the Word of God section by section. The authors take the reader from creation, the fall of man and the flood through Israel’s history, from Jesus’ life, death, burial and resurrection through the birth of the church and, of course, the end of the story.
 
Throughout, the authors have captured key points in irresistible infographics that were surely designed to aid both understanding and memory.
 
Perhaps my favorite example, perfect for anyone who fears that the Bible has changed over the millennia: a three-page section entitled “Has the Bible Really Been Preserved for Us Today?” (pages 32-34). With very few words but arresting artwork, they compare the New Testament to other ancient works from Tacitus’s Annals to Plato’s Tetralogies and Homer’s Iliad. The only logical conclusion? “[T]here is overwhelming evidence that the text of the New Testament we have today is the same as the original.”
 
I’ve been using excerpts from this book at the nursing home, both in one-on-one visits and during our weekly Bible Discussions, with uniformly happy results. Challies and Byers have explained these critical concepts much more concisely and compellingly than I ever could have.
 
In the process, I’ve also learned a lot from them—even though as a former skeptic who fought mightily against embracing the Bible, I did extensive research into most of these subjects many years ago.
 
Bottom line: I recommend this book highly.
 
Intrigued? You can take a closer look here, or order a copy for yourself here.  

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    Kitty
    Foth-Regner

    I'm a follower of Jesus Christ, a freelance copywriter, a nursing-home volunteer, and the author of books both in-process and published -- including
    Heaven Without Her.

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