A few years ago, I took part in an excellent women’s Bible study at my church, a study using Jerry Bridge’s Respectable Sins. It’s a most interesting, enlightening, eye-opening and convicting book, and I am thinking that it is finally persuading my spirit of some critical truths – for instance:

• The Lord sovereignly controls the events in our lives for His own perfect purposes.
• He makes all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)
• It is counter-productive to try to fight ourselves out of difficult circumstances, because He is using them for our ultimate benefit. 

I won’t spoil the book by telling you any more. But I do recommend it highly. Its teachings are solidly biblical, very well-done, easy to process, and extremely persuasive. 

They are not revolutionary, however. For instance, this is one of the messages that Katharina A. von Schlegel conveyed in her wonderful 1752 hymn “Be Still My Soul”: 

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.

Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.

Leave to thy God to order and provide;

In every change, He faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend

Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Singing this hymn makes me think of the daily trials faced by my friends at the nursing home – trials such as sometimes having to wait, and wait some more, for help from an aide who’s currently occupied with another resident, or for a visit from a beloved but all-too-busy child. 

Is even this circumstance orchestrated, or allowed, by the Lord? 

Apparently so. 

For what reason? 

Could it be to teach us patience? Mercy? The infinite superiority of eternity in heaven?

Beats me. But it seems like this would be a subject worth exploring with an elderly person who belongs to Jesus. He or she may have some invaluable wisdom to share on the subject – wisdom just as life-changing as any we’ll ever find in a book, outside of the Bible itself.

I am pleased to present the insightful and inspiring text of a brochure written by a dear sister in Christ, reproduced here with her gracious permission. 


The Value of Being a Widow

By Edna Walls
Married 63 years
Widowed in 2009
Member of Brookside Baptist Church
Brookfield, Wisconsin

Everyone knows how you become a widow: your husband -- your protector and companion -- has been taken. From now on your life will be forever different. Emotions of sorrow, fear, bitterness, loneliness, and self-pity come and go, but as a believer in Christ you also know that nothing happens that God does not allow.

What do you do? What you don't do is stop living. As difficult as it is, life goes on and you are still a part of it. God allowed you to become a widow and now He is giving you an opportunity to show the world that He is sufficient to fill your needs.

What an honor to be a witness of His grace and mercy. There is much comfort in His Words that say, "I will never leave nor forsake you." Being a widow can be a very rewarding journey as you take His hand and walk with Him. Remember the chorus of the beautiful old hymn "In the Garden":

"He walks with me
and He talks with me. 
And He tells me I am His own.
And the joy we share as we tarry there,
None other has ever known."

Even if you don't sing, reading the hymn brings assurance and healing. It is a must-read. As your spiritual Husband, "He will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:19. Will you step out in faith and be a witness to His love and care?

The world watches how Christians react to difficult situations and Satan likes nothing better than a defeated widow. Psalm 146:9 states, "The Lord supports the fatherless and the widow." So allow Him to do that by trusting His Word and believing His promises. In time, some widows may choose to re-marry, and that is not forbidden. If you do re-marry, be certain it is God's will.

Widowhood brings many lonely days. What better way to fill that time than to be a servant? Jesus is the greatest servant of all time and can serve through you. As Christians, we are His representatives on earth. What a worthy occupation! Your service can be great or small -- just do whatever you are able to do.

A greeting, smile, prayer, or note of encouragement can be very important to someone, especially another widow. In I Tim. 5:16 we are told widows should help other widows. This is a wonderful way to begin serving by helping our sisters-in-Christ. Comfort them in their sorrow and rejoice with them in their blessings.

As you age, if at any time you have health, financial or family problems, that's life. But don't hesitate to get counsel from pastors or elders. They are available to serve also. Prov. 15:22 says, "Without consultation, plans are frustrated, but with many counsellors they succeed." 

You must not forget to be grateful and thankful to God for giving you this time to be of service. Our greatest happiness comes from aiding others. Most of all, you can be a light in this dark world by sharing Christ with someone who is lost.

Dear Widow, in Him you are of great value.

There are times when a nursing-home volunteer reaches the limits of her ability to be a blessing to residents. When that happens, it’s time to call in the experts.
 
Care-age of Brookfield resident Ernesto Aguilar is a case in point. He has been a regular attendee at our weekly Bible Discussion for many months – an active participant who probably knows his Bible better than just about anyone in the group (although he would deny it). And in visiting with him outside of this group, I’ve also come to know that he is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met.
 
Just one problem: English is not Ernesto’s native language. Spanish is. And it can be a little challenging at times to carry on a conversation, because this native of Mexico is very soft-spoken, has a moderate accent and can’t always think of the English words for what he is trying to express. (Please don’t misunderstand. As someone who had literally years of French and German instruction and can speak almost nothing in either language, I am properly blown away by Ernesto’s command of English. But it does sometimes fail him, especially when we’re discussing something deep, like theology.)
 
Ernesto thoroughly enjoys conversing with others. But these talks can be hard on him. There’s the frustration of being unable to come up with precisely the words he’s looking for, and of speaking with someone who hasn’t a clue what the Spanish means. And there’s the hard work involved with translating, on the fly, word upon word, phrase upon phrase; surely these conversations are exhausting for him! 

But one day, the Lord presented me with the solution: During a blood drive at Brookside Baptist Church in Brookfield, Wis., He sat me next to Joaquin Peña, the young Outreach and Hispanic Ministries pastor. I learned that Joaquin is originally from the Dominican Republic. And then, as the technicians were draining the lifeblood out of me, I had one of those lovely Eureka! moments: Perhaps this pastor would be willing to visit with Ernesto. 

​The question wasn’t even completely out of my mouth before Joaquin said “Of course!” And within days, he and Ernesto were engaged in lively conversation in the private dining room at Care-age. (People who accuse women of chattering the hours away should spend a little time listening to men speaking in Spanish. These fellows talked for two solid hours without a single pause except to engage in some hearty laughter.)

I don’t know what they talked about, other than hearing the name “Cristo” repeatedly and some occasional references to “King James” and “New American Standard.” But I do know they both had a great time, and are looking forward to a repeat visit next week.
​
The lesson for us uni-lingual volunteers?

By all means, try to learn at least a few words of the languages of residents who count English as a second or third tongue. In recent years, we’ve had occasion at Care-age to attempt not only Spanish, but also German, Latvian and Serbian. If it doesn’t delight the residents at hand, at least it usually gives them a good laugh to hear us mangle the words and phrases that are so familiar to them.
​
But unless you’re fluent, try to find someone locally who speaks the resident’s native language, and would have time for a nice visit. Nearby churches are probably the best place to start. Or you could try local universities or community centers serving specific ethnic groups. Either way, be sure to speak with your facility’s Activities Director about your idea, not only for possible leads but also to make sure you follow all the rules about bringing outsiders in to visit.

I guarantee that it will be worth the effort. Such visits will give your favorite residents the opportunity to relax and converse freely about any subjects that interest them, without the intense mental labor of non-stop translation.
​
I guarantee, too, that it will fill your heart with joy to listen. Even if you don’t understand a word they saying.