Sooner or later, most of us will go through the horrible process of losing, and mourning, our mothers. But I've just been reminded that there is a way through and past this uniquely devastating form of grief.

The reminder came via my new friend Kathy, who recently lost her beloved mom. She sent me an article from CareNotes, a publication of One Caring Place.  In this piece, author Peggy Heinzmann Ekerdt provides some wonderful insights into what can make this event so personally catastrophic. 

For instance, as she points out, losing your mom can mean losing:

• Your sole source of unconditional love. A mother’s love “is often tested, but rarely fails. So when a mother dies, the loss of unconditional love is often a loss that no one else can understand, much less fill.”
• Your identity. “It is as though a fundamental part of me has existence only in my mother’s memory,” writes Ekerdt, quoting Roberta Bondi in Memories of God, “and when my mother dies this part of me will die, too.”
• Your family connector. “When a mother dies, some … wonder why they feel as if they have lost touch with siblings.” As my own sister said in the wake of our mother’s death, “Mom was the glue that held us together.”
• Protection. “There is a sense of security that accompanies the knowledge that even into adulthood, mothers look out for their children, and God help anyone who attempts harm. That shield of protection, both physical and emotional, is lost when a mother dies.”

In this article, Ekerdt has taken a secular approach to the subject – no doubt because it’s the only way to avoid offending some people in this perennially offended culture we live in today.

But as I read it, I was reminded that there is a source of unconditional love, identity, family connection, and protection that transcends what even the most wonderful mother could ever provide: and that’s our Creator, the God who reveals Himself to us in the Bible.

After all, God is love, as the apostle John tells us in 1 John 4. He loves us so much that He died to pay the penalty for our sins. And He forgives those who repent and trust in Him, so completely that He separates us from our transgressions as far as east is from west (see Psalm 103).

What’s more, that fundamental part of me that existed in my mom’s memory also exists in the Lord’s – and it does so perfectly, without the affectionate “re-interpretation” a mother may give it. That may not seem like such a good thing, having our Creator know everything about us, warts and all. But see above; He forgives!

And how about that family connector? When we become His children through repentance and trust, we also become members of the most astonishing family of all – His church. Even if this life were all there is to our existence, it would be a tragedy to miss membership in this family; I doubt that there’s any greater love among human beings than what can be experienced in a fellowship of born-again believers in Jesus Christ.

And protection? There’s none like the Lord Himself. He is in sovereign control of all our circumstances, and He makes all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (see Romans 8). That’s true even if a particular circumstance feels for the moment like the opposite of protection; sooner or later, if we are paying attention, we will see that He allowed it for our good.   

Best of all, He has promised never to leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). He will always be His children’s unfailing source of unconditional love, identity, connection, and protection.

It’s been more than 15 years since I lost my mom. I still miss her terribly, and can’t wait to see her again in heaven. But what a comfort it is to know that the Lord God Himself provides all that a mother can provide and infinitely more – and not only in this life, but for all eternity.

I’m taking part in an excellent women’s Bible study at my church, a study using Jerry Bridge’s Respectable Sins. It’s a most interesting, enlightening, eye-opening and convicting book, and I am thinking that it is finally persuading my spirit of some critical truths – for instance:

• The Lord sovereignly controls the events in our lives for His own perfect purposes.
• He makes all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)
• It is counter-productive to try to fight ourselves out of difficult circumstances, because He is using them for our ultimate benefit. 
  

I won’t spoil the book by telling you any more. But I do recommend it highly. Its teachings are solidly biblical, very well-done, easy to process, and extremely persuasive.

They are not revolutionary, however. I was thinking this morning that this is one of the messages that Katharina A. von Schlegel conveyed in her wonderful 1752 hymn “Be Still My Soul”:

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.

Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.

Leave to thy God to order and provide;

In every change, He faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend

Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Singing this hymn made me think, as I often do, of the daily trials faced by my friends at the nursing home – trials such as sometimes having to wait, and wait some more, for help from a busy aide who’s currently occupied with another resident.

Is even this circumstance orchestrated, or allowed, by the Lord?

Apparently so.

For what reason?

Could it be to teach us patience? Mercy? The infinite superiority of eternity in heaven?

Beats me. But it seems like this would be a subject worth exploring with an elderly person who belongs to Jesus. He or she may have some invaluable wisdom to share on the subject – wisdom just as life-changing as any we’ll ever find in a book, outside of the Bible itself.

Before her death in 2005, Hendrikje van Andel-Schipper of the Netherlands was the oldest woman alive. She lived to be 115 and three months old.

Surprisingly though, when she died, her brain was still in good shape, with no sign of Alzheimer's or any of the other diseases typically associated with old age. In fact, she seems to have been disease-free, according to the researchers charged with examining her remains.

So what caused her death? According to a report in New Scientist online, it might have to do with “stem cell fatigue” -- essentially, running out of the stem cells needed to keep us functioning.

Here’s the scoop.

Blood stem cells are what our bodies use to continually replenish our tissues. We humans are typically born with around 20,000 of these cells. But over time, they weaken and die out. 

And it might be this process that ultimately limits how long a human being can live, even if he or she succeeds in evading every other possible cause of death.

"Once the stem cells reach a state of exhaustion that imposes a limit on their own lifespan,” reports New Scientist, “they themselves gradually die out and steadily diminish the body's capacity to keep regenerating vital tissues and cells, such as blood."

And then? Ultimately and inevitably, we die.

The VU University Medical Center researchers who studied Andel-Schipper’s remains said that at the time of her death, she had just two blood stem cells left. The rest had presumably burned themselves out.

It probably won’t be long before progressive healthcare organizations begin offering relatively young people the ability to remove and store stem cells for use later in life. And there will no doubt be plenty of takers, especially among those who have no belief in, or hope for, eternal life.

Of course, even if the entire process works perfectly, eventually those “saved” stem cells will wear themselves out. And their owners will once again find themselves standing on the brink of forever. Let’s hope that they will use all that extra time they think they’ve bought considering where they want to spend eternity, and making the decision that will guarantee them of a truly heavenly ever-after.