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Quit worrying!

4/14/2018

1 Comment

 
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If the statistics can be believed, they’re pretty shocking: 18% of U.S. adults reportedly suffer from anxiety disorders – including “general anxiety disorder,” characterized by persistent, excessive, and unrealistic worry about everyday things.
 
I suppose that’s understandable for secularists of all stripes, given the sad state of today’s world. But it really shouldn’t be an issue for those who profess to be followers of Jesus Christ. After all, He has commanded us not to fret 365 times in the pages of the Bible; shouldn’t we obey Him?
 
It's true that, now and then, I find myself back on my pre-salvation worry treadmill. But the Holy Spirit has given me a new line of thinking to pursue – one that almost invariably sends my fears packing.  Perhaps you’ll find it helpful.
 
Whenever I find myself worrying about a particular trial, I talk to God about the situation, casting my care upon Him because He cares for me (1 Peter 5:7). I then meditate on a few simple truths:  

  1. God is sovereign over His entire creation – including every last cell in my body and every circumstance I face. He understands my situation perfectly. And He has everything under complete control, ready to serve His good and perfect purposes.
  2. He has promised to make all things work together for good to all who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28) – and that would include me. I have seen this happen time and time again in my own life, and in the lives of Christian friends. It helps to review some of these remarkable events from His point of view, and to remember how disastrous they seemed initially from our limited human perspective.
  3. I can’t know what blessing He has in store for me through this trial; I can be sure He does, however. So I ask Him not to remove the trial but for His will to be accomplished through it. And I try very hard to mean it every time.
  4. He has already told me how to handle such fears, and I need only recall His instructions. Philippians 4:6-7 is often a great place to start: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
  5. He has also shown me the big picture of His lifelong care for me, especially via Psalm 23. I love to think through every word and phrase of this beloved little chapter, drawing on the insights provided by the late Phillip Keller in his precious book, A Shepherd Looks at the 23rd Psalm.  
 
I have yet to emerge from this meditation without feeling great spiritual refreshment – and welcome freedom from whatever was worrying me in the first place.
1 Comment

Children dumping their parents

4/9/2018

4 Comments

 
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Has anyone else noticed the epidemic of adult children abandoning their parents? I personally know a number of "aging" parents who rarely or never hear from their children; and there are more and more web sites and online forums addressing the problem. 
  
In some cases, the kids are just super busy, don’t need yet another obligation, and therefore rank “call the folks” low on their To Do lists. Could this be payback of the sort Harry Chapin sang about decades ago in “Cat’s in the Cradle”?   
 
My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away 
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, 
and as he grew He'd say 
"I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you" ...


I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me


Maybe that usually is the problem, although I certainly see once-neglectful parents -- those who had little time for their young children – being lavished with attention now that those children have grown up. “What goes around comes around” doesn’t seem to apply in these cases.
 
But is there something more insidious going on? For instance, are we seeing adult kids rejecting parents just because they’re no longer cool? The good Lord knows that there’s not a lot of respect left for the aging – those that we Baby Boomers defined as anyone over 30, back in the day. 
  
There was a time when the fear of God, and respect for the Ten Commandments, were major influences in the western world. Not so today. One by one, those Commandments have been torn down and stomped on until only a faithful remnant is left to obey. 
 
Are we now seeing the destruction of the last one standing – the 5th?

"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.” (Exodus 20:12). 

I’m afraid that this may indeed be the case. 

Fortunately, there's a great solution. Whatever your personal circumstances may be, go out and be a friend to someone who has been abandoned by his or her kids, and is without resources; you'll find lots of them in the nearest nursing home. And if you haven't done so already, get right with God; in the end, the only thing that really matters is where you'll be spending eternity. 
4 Comments

What will you take into eternity?

4/3/2018

3 Comments

 
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"When we die, we leave behind all that we have, and take with us all that we are."

I don't know who said it, or even if it's true. But it's certainly worth pondering. Would you want to spend eternity with the person you are today? 
​
Perhaps a good place to start is with our thought lives. Are we often preoccupied with thinking that could be characterized as “hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions” or any of the other "works of the flesh" listed by the apostle Paul in Galatians 5?

If so, now is the perfect time to repent and trust in Christ, and to let our souls be permeated by the fruits of the Spirit that Paul named in the same chapter: "love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control" (Galatians 5:22). 

These sound like traits I could live with not only in the here and now, but also forevermore. How about you?
3 Comments

The world's view of life ... and death

3/29/2018

2 Comments

 
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I just revisited one of the most depressing essays I’ve ever read – an essay about the death of a long-time friend of the writer, who happens to be the editor of a prominent magazine for nursing-home professionals.  

Doug, the friend, had succumbed to pancreatic cancer six months after his diagnosis, just as he was about to enter his golden years (in the view of our local grocery stores, anyway). We are assured that, in the end, he died peacefully and painlessly. And according to the writer/editor, he did a great job of managing his last few months on earth, spending time with his family, visiting his hometown multiple times, and entertaining waves of adoring friends.  

Doug, he wrote, “found the fortitude … to wring some more pleasures out of life.” 

The writer/editor said he learned something important from the bitterness, the unfairness, of Doug’s death -- to wit:

“We are all mortal, and that confers upon us an obligation. No, a duty. It is to do everything we can to put the most quality in the days we have — whether they are our own days or those of someone we care for. It can be said this is important at any stage of life, but especially so if we know the end is nearing.”

So kudos to Doug for being able to “wring some more pleasure out of life,” for putting “the most quality” into his last days.  

But hold on a minute. Is that what life is all about? Pleasures and quality? 

I agree that our mortality confers upon us an obligation – nay, a duty. But I submit that it has nothing to do with pleasures or quality. It has to do with spending as much time planning for eternity as we spend saying good-bye to family, friends and hometowns. And that’s true whether we’re talking about our own eternity, or that of someone we care for.

I wonder if Doug knew what was coming next. Did he make any attempt to find out during his final months? To determine his best possible destination and how to get there? Did he prepare for it in any special way? And just as important, did he share his findings with those he cared about?

Or did Doug end his days the way most people do in our oh-so-sophisticated world, wasting that precious time trying to wring a little more pleasure, and a little more quality, out of life? 
2 Comments

What Sadie finally understood

3/24/2018

0 Comments

 
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If you're a born-again Christian and a student of God's word, have you ever considered conducting a Bible study at a local nursing home--or asking your pastor to do so? There's no doubt that such sessions can have a life-changing and eternal impact on residents, even for those whose cognitive skills have seen better days. As the 86-year-old protagonist of The Song of Sadie Sparrow learned in just such a group, it's never too late to change your tune.
​

 
It was on this very day, under Jamie’s tutelage, that things began to click in Sadie’s occasionally befuddled brain.

The previous week, he had wrapped up his long but fascinating “tour of truth,” as he called it. He had spent several weeks on science. (Whoever would have guessed that the Bible made scores of scientific statements in passing, millennia before secular scientists made the same discoveries about everything from the sun’s own orbit to the mountains and valleys of the ocean floor? And whoever would have guessed that little ol’ Sadie Sparrow would manage to follow a fair portion of it?)

Next Jamie had walked the little class—Beulah, Charles, and Elise were now permanent fixtures, she was a little sorry to say—through the Good Book’s prophetic accuracy, focusing heavily on Israel’s rebirth as a nation in 1948. Not that she had noticed it back then, but Sadie vaguely recalled Ed talking about the situation in the Middle East with great excitement. So now at last she understood what the fuss was all about, and she regretted not paying more attention to him at the time. What fun they might have had discussing these things!
           
But what fun it was to learn about it now. It wasn’t that she really needed proof of the Bible’s authenticity as the word of God; she’d always respected Ed’s opinion on the matter. But this proof, confirmed continually by Charles’ enthusiastic “Amen!”, was making a difference in her attitude towards scripture. She was taking it very seriously now, and it was making her look at her life differently, reflect more on her blessed past, and see God’s hand in shepherding her along every step of the way.
           
And today a major piece of the puzzle would fall into place for her at last.
           
“So,” Jamie had said after they’d all exchanged happy greetings, “we’ve covered a lot of ground, especially in terms of science and history. What I’d like to talk about today is the gospel itself, and how confident you’re each feeling that heaven is your eternal destination.”
           
For some reason he was looking right at Sadie.
           
Am I supposed to go first?
           
“Why don’t we start with you, Sadie?” Jamie said cheerfully when she didn’t respond.

“Are you confident that you’re headed for heaven?”
           
“Oh yes, I think so. I believe in Jesus, and I’ve led a good life.”
           
Jamie cocked his head and looked at her expectantly, like a dog that didn’t quite understand his master’s command. She smiled at him and rubbed her hands together nervously. Of course, it was the wrong answer, and she knew it. She was just nervous about being quizzed in front of these other people, all of whom obviously knew a lot more about the Bible than she did. She racked her brain looking for the right phrase to rescue herself, but it was too late.

“So you’re a good person, are you, Sadie Sparrow?” 
           
That question she could handle.
           
“I try,” she said, smiling at the others. “I’ve learned from the best, after all—my parents, my husband, and now you!”
           
Jamie’s response was totally unexpected. “How many lies have you told in your life?” 
           
“Lies?” She was aghast. How could one even count? “Too many,” she replied, after an embarrassingly long delay.
           
“So you’re a liar.” Jamie nodded thoughtfully. “How about this—have you ever taken the Lord’s name in vain?”
           
“In vain?”
           
“Used it as an expression of dismay or anger or just as a casual exclamation?”
           
“Oh. Well, I suppose I have.”
           
So you’re a blasphemer, too. What about this: Have you ever hated anyone?”
           
“Oh no,” Sadie said, shaking her head. But immediately the image of Elsie Teckel popped into her mind—Elsie, the busybody neighbor who had repeatedly called the police on the Sparrows because of dear little Cappy’s barking. One yip was enough to send Elsie shuffling to her phone. And more often than not, the old bat had sparked the barking herself by letting her cat out when Cappy was outside with Ed.
           
“I take it back,” she admitted. “I guess I have hated.”
           
"And yet Jesus said that hating another is committing murder in your heart. So what does that make you?”
           
“A murderer?” She looked at Jamie hopefully, awaiting some reassurance. Surely a kind word was on the way.
           
“So you, Sadie Sparrow, are a liar, a blasphemer, a murderer at heart,” Jamie said softly. “Just like the rest of us. You’re not such a good person after all, are you?”
           
“No,” she said in a small voice, studying her hands. She felt thoroughly ashamed of herself, and hurt that Jamie was being so unkind to her.
           
But wait: He said “Just like the rest of us.” What does that mean?

           
“And this,” Jamie said, rising and stretching his arms out dramatically, “is why the gospel is such good news. Do you all see? When God the Son died on the cross, He died bearing all the sin this world has ever committed, and will ever commit. He took the full punishment for your sin, in other words, as well as mine—the punishment that would have landed us in hell for all eternity. And all we have to do to get our personal sins expunged is to repent of them and trust in Him instead of in our own goodness.”
           
“Amen,” said Charles, as Beulah and Elise nodded in agreement.
           
At first, Sadie couldn’t quite grasp it—it seemed almost too easy. But then something clicked in her heart.
           
“So my goodness doesn’t matter?” she asked.
           
“Not a bit, at least from the standpoint of getting into heaven.”
           
“Jesus paid it all,” Elise added, “just like the song says.”
           
“And goodness really doesn’t matter?” Sadie thought of all the hypocrites she’d known in church over the years and found herself vaguely disappointed that they might well be heaven-bound themselves.
           
Jamie sat down again and explained it all again—how repentance and trust result in being born again, and the indwelling of the Lord in the human heart, and how the new Christian then experiences growing love for, and obedience to, Jesus Christ.
           
“It just blows me away every time I think about it,” Jamie said. “It’s so simple, and yet so transforming. It was the only way the Lord could create a people for Himself, loving and obedient by their own choice. No robots needed or allowed!”
           
Sadie sat quietly, her heart pounding. It all sounded both familiar and totally new to her. On the one hand, it was pretty much what Ed had always told her. But on the other hand, Jamie’s harshness with her seemed to have opened a door somewhere deep inside, as if his explanation had finally reached beyond her brain and into her heart. If it was true—and she had to admit that it made some sort of crazy sense—then it changed everything.
           
“You’ve given me a great deal to consider, Jamie,” she said finally. “I need to spend some time thinking about it.”
           
She was uncomfortably aware that she was probably the only one in the room who hadn’t understood these things. But no one else seemed to mind; they were all smiling at her, and Elise came over to give her a big hug.
           
“I guess maybe it’s a bit of information overload, isn’t it?” Jamie pulled a couple of little brochures out of his briefcase. “Here are some tracts to help you digest it all—you can look up the verses they cite in your Bible, okay?”
           
​For the first time in her life, Sadie couldn’t wait to crack open the books.

--From The Song of Sadie Sparrow, pages 190-192
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Hoping to keep all your marbles?

3/16/2018

4 Comments

 
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Remember when high cholesterol was Public Enemy #1?
 
Oh, that’s right, it still is. Unless you happen to be between the ages of 85 and 94. Because at that advanced age, you’ll actually be better off with high cholesterol, cognitively speaking.
 
That, at least, is what one new study is reporting.
 
It must be a good one, because it’s based on something called the “Framingham cohort.” (I don't have a clue what that is, but doesn't it sound impressive?)

Here’s what its authors discovered:
 
“Investigators found that cognitively intact people between the ages of 85 and 94 whose total cholesterol had increased from midlife had a 32% reduced risk for marked cognitive decline during the next decade, compared with individuals aged 75 to 84, who had a 50% increased risk.”
 
No word yet on whether we should toss the statin drugs and start pounding the eggs and butter when we hit 83.5. (Remember how eggs and butter used to be bad for us, but now they’re not? Perhaps this phenomenon is why they’ve now been given the green light. ) 
 
Nor is there any word on what happens to cholesterol-infused brains at age 95.
 
What’s more, we can’t predict what the next group of researchers will learn. As this current group reported, “an earlier study of the original Framingham cohort found no significant association between cholesterol and [Alzheimer’s disease].”
 
The best advice: Stay tuned.
 
And keep an eye out for a study that weighs that relative value of people suffering from cognitive decline, vs. those who retain all their marbles into great old age. Perhaps an enterprising future generation of researchers will find that, marbles or not, we all will die and head for eternities of unimaginable joy or suffering. Perhaps they’ll also realize that our ultimate destinations would be a far more worthy subject to investigate. This book might give them a head start on answering this most critical question.  
4 Comments

Want proof? Open your eyes!

3/10/2018

2 Comments

 
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Not long ago, I met yet another committed atheist who informed me that God doesn't exist, and that death is followed by eternal nothingness. 

This woman was in her early 80s, which makes her position truly astounding to me. How can you be standing on the cusp of eternity and refuse to investigate what comes next? And there's no doubt that such folks are willfully ignorant; if they were to look with an open mind, they would change their tune in very short order, because the evidence for God's existence and the truth of the Bible is everywhere. 

Just take a gander at the old travel photo above. Even the most ardent atheist would have to agree that virtually everything in this frame was designed and manufactured via intelligent design on the part of human beings -- building, signs, flower boxes, VW bus, cobblestone street, clothing, accessories, and so on. And yet this same atheist would say that the living things in this snapshot -- the people and the plants -- are the products of random chance and vast ages, sparked when dead matter miraculously spawned life long, long ago.   
​
To think that those who embrace such fairy tales also insist that Christians are "intellectually stunted" and "delusional." Absolutely mind-boggling.
2 Comments

Boring? Not on your life!

3/6/2018

2 Comments

 
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Who says living in a nursing home has to be dull? In the novel bearing her name, Sadie Sparrow and her friends find life at The Hickories endlessly engaging – and sometimes quite mysterious, as this excerpt demonstrates.
 
 
Sadie and Gladys brunched together on Sunday, enjoying a feast of fresh strawberries and blackberries, French toast with maple syrup, bacon that was every bit as crisp as any Sadie had ever had, as much orange juice as they wanted, and coffee that tasted like something you’d get at a fancy cafe.
 
Gladys shocked Sadie by calling the meal “good” and then shocked her again by pointing out that Marcia at Table Nine was on “the thick stuff.”
 
“Do you mean thickened liquids?” Sadie was ashamed that she’d let that subject slip to the back burner in recent days, her new spiritual life and time with Jamie being foremost on her mind.
 
“If that’s what you want to call it,” Gladys sniffed, “although I don’t know why you always have to make everything so complicated. Pretending to be something you’re not.”
 
“‘Thick stuff’ is just fine with me,” Sadie said, humbled by the rebuke. “So how did you find out?”
 
One of Gladys’s nicer traits was her willingness to leave a hurt behind. “Before you got here, I heard her complaining about it to the servers. But they wouldn’t help her. I think it’s a crime.”
 
“A crime?”
 
“Without a doubt.” Gladys lowered her voice and glanced back over her shoulders to make sure no one was eavesdropping. “It kills people, you know. If you don’t get enough to drink, you get fuzzy headed and then you die. I’ve seen it happen again and again.”
 
Gladys had lived at The Hickories for several years, and Sadie didn’t doubt that she knew a lot more than she let on.
 
“Have any of your—have you known anyone who’s been on it?”
 
Gladys eyed Sadie up before answering. “My friends, you mean? Were you assuming I haven’t had any friends here?”
 
“No, of course not, I just meant—”
 
“I’ll have you know that I’ve had plenty of friends here. It’s just that they’ve all died or gone home.”
 
“Of course you have.” Sadie felt her face flush; she’d been caught red-handed. She quickly changed gears. “So have any of them been on the thick stuff?”
 
“Yes, and they’ve all died within weeks, except for one. Her name was Ida—she lived next door to me. She survived for two years on the stuff, finally had a coronary.”
 
“Well, then, if Ida made it that long, maybe it’s not so bad after all,” said Sadie, hoping for a silver lining.
 
Gladys looked around for eavesdroppers again. “It’s not so bad if someone is sneaking you water and soda every day,” she whispered. “I kept her supplied.”
 
“Why Gladys,” Sadie whispered back, impressed. “You really do have a heart, don’t you?”
 
Gladys glared at her. “Don’t you dare tell anyone.”
 
--From The Song of Sadie Sparrow, pages 221-222
2 Comments

"The Battle Is Not Your Own"

2/27/2018

0 Comments

 
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Are you warring with the flesh or with the world? Never fear: If you belong to Jesus Christ, you will never be alone.  
 
If you’d like some first-rate biblical encouragement,  take a few minutes to listen to “The Battle Is Not Your Own.” Based on Exodus 17, it's Chris Carrillo’s latest message to the folks at Care-age of Brookfield: 
(Reading this via email? Please click on the title above to be taken directly to the message.)
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No wonder we're feeling hopeless

2/21/2018

2 Comments

 
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Some time ago, I had the chance to watch the critically acclaimed 2006 movie “Away from Her.” Starring the still-gorgeous Julie Christie, it’s the story of a husband and wife – Grant and Fiona – whose relationship is about to undergo monumental and permanent changes. Fiona, you see, has Alzheimer’s.  And the disease has progressed enough that, early on in the movie, she decides it’s time for her to move into a nursing home.
 
There are no real surprises in this story. Fiona becomes increasingly forgetful, stops recognizing her husband, attaches herself to another resident. Grant is miserable, visits Fiona often, becomes lonely, seeks the advice of a nurse with a heart of gold. She tells him that Fiona may yet have some lucid periods, but that he shouldn’t get his hopes up because they won’t last. And indeed that’s precisely what happens in the end; but because of heart-of-gold’s warning, Grant doesn’t take even a moment’s break from his misery.
 
And there you have it: another beautifully filmed tear-jerker delivering a clear message of hopelessness.
 
Which is pretty much the message most critically acclaimed American movies, novels, and TV shows have been delivering for the last 50+ years. No wonder there’s so much despair in our culture today.
 
But get this: one doesn’t encounter much of this relentless gloom at nursing homes. Sure, there’s day-to-day unhappiness over the kids’ failure to visit or an aide being disrespectful, and certainly those with unrelenting pain or severe disabilities are far from delighted with their current circumstances.
 
But there’s a huge difference: Even through such suffering, many – perhaps most – of today’s nursing home residents are leaning on the everlasting arms of God. They are resting in the certainty that, no matter how bad things get in this life, the best is yet to come. And the older they are, the more certain they are that heaven will be their next stop, their home forevermore.
 
Sadly, this is beginning to change, as people who came of age in the post-war years check in to long-term care. There seems to be less assurance of heaven, less faith in God’s love for them, less confidence that they will ever escape from the downward slide their bodies have taken. Astoundingly, there also seems to be less interest in hearing evidences for happily ever aftering.
 
There are no doubt many reasons for this growing agnosticism among the newly elderly. But I think we can put a lot of the blame on Hollywood, and on our lack of discernment in the face of attractive actors, heart-wrenching story lines and lavish cinematography.  
 
The solution? At the very least, we should take the time to analyze the messages that we’re being fed by the entertainment industry – and to reject anything that’s simply emotional, unprovable or an outright lie.  
 
Then we should give God equal time to make His case for forever, via the Bible, sound teaching, and fellowship with born-again believers. Because here’s the truth: No one has to end his life like Grant and Fiona did, in hopelessness and despair.  For anyone willing to repent and trust in Christ, the best really is yet to come.
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    Kitty
    Foth-Regner

    I'm a follower of Jesus Christ, a freelance copywriter, a nursing-home volunteer, and the author of books both in-process and published -- including
    Heaven Without Her.

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