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Caring for someone with special needs? Check out this handy guide!

3/4/2026

Caring for seniors with special needs requires understanding, patience, and the right resources, and it's often very difficult to know where to begin.

Gori Law Firm, a nationwide firm headquartered in St. Louis, has put together a free, easy-to-use guide to get you started. Entitled "Resources for Seniors with Special Needs: Life After Illness, Disability, and Hearing Loss," it offers practical tips, support options, and plenty of resources to help you navigate a wide variety of health, accessibility, and daily living challenges—and so to help those you care for live safely, comfortably, and with greater independence.

Topics include:

Seniors with special medical needs, including mesothelioma
Financial aid and resources
Emotional wellness and mental health support
Community support networks for everything from meals to transportation
Practical resources for caregivers
Daily communication tips for seniors with hearing loss
A home safety checklist

We're grateful to Gori Law Firm's PR consultant Levi Scott for calling our attention to this handy guide.

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Agape in action

8/1/2025

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The Greek language describes at least four kinds of love:

Storge, meaning the love of family
Philia, which is the love of close friends
Eros, or erotic love
Agape, the unconditional and sacrificial love of the God who is love (1 John 4:8, 16)

Most of us are very familiar with the first three kinds of love, but not many of us have knowingly experienced agape. Christians see it in action when we look to the cross, meditate on what the Lord does for us day to day, and examine His promises for all eternity. But it’s rare indeed to see agape in action in the here and now.

Yet some of us have the privilege of witnessing it every now and then, when God shines His love through a Christian’s heart and onto those who wouldn’t seem, at least at the moment, to be very lovable.

It is beautiful. Breathtaking, in fact.

I saw it just recently at the nursing home where I hang out, during our monthly Christian Music Hour. We staffers and volunteers were a bit frazzled, running late in assembling folks in the main dining room for this hour of worship and biblical enlightenment.

And so I didn’t take the extra time needed to settle and reassure my dear friend D., who has in recent months become increasingly anxious and fearful; instead, I rolled her geri chair in next to Elivira, a sister in Christ who’s my age. “Please look after D., will you? If she becomes anxious, reassure her until I can get there?”

“Of course,” said my friend, who is herself saddled with disabling disorders that might cause lesser spirits to shrink into self-pity and bitterness.

We handed out the song books and finally got started. Over the course of the next hour, we worshipped the Lord through both a stirring message* and a dozen lovely hymns, from “Jesus, the Very Thought of Thee” and “In the Garden” to “Great Is Thy Faithfulness” and “Be Still My Soul.”

Since I introduce the songs and man the audio equipment, and since we ran out of song books early on and needed to make more copies, I was preoccupied much of the time. But every time I looked D. and Elvira’s way, I saw an amazing sight: Elvira turned in her wheelchair, gazing at D., singing her heart out, the most beatific expression I’ve ever seen transforming her face into one hour-long display of agape love.

D. stayed calm throughout the hour, even smiling now and then. How could she not, with all that love shining her way and spilling out on everyone in the vicinity?

I don’t know that I’ve ever been so moved in my life.

Sometimes I think back on the wonders I’ve seen in my life, back in my pre-Christian days when I poured all my energy into good times and worldly pleasures. And each time I am blown away by how those pleasures pale in the light of agape love, and the transformative effect it has on those who witness it.

Sadly, it’s a rare sight in this world, reserved perhaps for hard places like nursing homes and prisons, places populated by people who may not seem to warrant any kind of human love, who haven’t earned it through beauty or achievement or genetic bond.

But there’s good news: we don’t have to go far to find such places, to experience the love of God in human hearts, possibly even to serve as a vehicle for it ourselves. These people that Jesus called “the least of these” are all around us; the genuine Christian just needs to go to them, serve them, and love them.

*If you’re reading this via email, please click on the title above to be taken to the original post; you can then click on the “a stirring message” link to hear it yourself.

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Where's your treasure?

5/10/2025

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“And He said to them, ‘Take heed and beware of covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses.’” -- Luke 12:15

I’ve been rereading Luke’s gospel, blown away by the incredible wisdom contained in every line. This verse really jumped out at me recently, probably because I was in the midst of planning additions to my spring garden when Jesus reminded me, for the thousandth time, that there are more important things in life than what I can pack into my garden.

“One’s life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses.”

For proof, imagine yourself in a nursing home -- you, who once lived in 2000- or 3000- or 4000-square-foot splendor, reduced to sharing a 15x20-foot room, your wardrobe pruned back to fit into a single dresser and armoire, your library decimated to whatever you can squeeze into an apartment-sized nightstand, your Christmas Wish List limited to tiny gift suggestions like postage stamps and a few blank birthday cards.

There’s not much room for pursuing covetousness in such an environment – at least not if it’s directed at material goods.

Fortunately, in sayings such as the one quoted above, Jesus destroyed the notion that possessions define our lives. And He followed it up with the parable of the rich man who needed more barns to store his crops – a stern warning against accumulating more and more possessions along the road to a life of ease (verses 16-21).

You probably know people who spent their lives acquiring everything that appeals to them, working overtime to satisfy “the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life,” as John described it in chapter 2 of his first epistle. They stuffed their closets with clothing and their pantries with food and their garages with cars and recreational equipment, and when they ran out of room, if they could swing it, they moved on to bigger and better quarters.

This sort of covetousness certainly dominated my life before I met the Lord Jesus Christ, and discovered that true satisfaction comes not from possessing but from being forgiven, that the only thing worth acquiring in this life is knowledge of my Creator and the assurance of spending all eternity with Him.

But I wonder: what if I’d stayed lost? What if I still thought my happiness would be found “in the abundance of the things” possessed? How would I have handled the prospect of squeezing 2000 square feet of abundance into a 150-square-foot half-room, and calling it a life?

I thank God that He does whatever is necessary to change the hearts and minds of anyone who is willing – and that, for those who are, He made the key to everlasting joy abundantly clear.

“Do not fear, little flock,” He said in Luke 12:32-34, “for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Sell what you have and give alms; provide yourselves money bags which do not grow old, a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches nor moth destroys.

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

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Loving what you see in the mirror

9/7/2024

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This is a picture of my Granny, snapped sometime in the 1950s. She would have been in her mid to late 60s then -- younger than I am now.

Meta Foth wasn't a beauty by today's standards, was she? Overweight from all that good German food, wearing powerful glasses to make up for the removal of lenses clouded by cataracts, and owning a "house dress" wardrobe tiny enough to fit into the little closet in her bedroom, right next to mine.

She was no great genius, as far as I know. She had run a florist shop with her husband in their native Germany, and they opened another here in Plymouth, Wis., after immigrating to the Land of Opportunity in the 1920s. But by the time I knew her, she was living with us in Green Bay. She liked her soap operas and her afternoon naps, and greatly enjoyed her weekly bus trips downtown to the restaurant on the top floor of Prange's department store. She was somebody there; the waitresses knew her name (Granny, not Meta) and on those glorious occasions when she took me along, I could tell that they all liked her very much.

I don't remember her having a great sense of humor, or being one to roll around on the floor to play with her grandkids, either. She was old, after all.

But oh, how I loved her.

And love her still, of course. She left this earth in 1975, having already buried three of her four children. But I can't wait to see her again in heaven, healthy and happy and finally being every bit as important as the next person, because she is, like everyone else there, a child of the King.

In the meantime, I look in the mirror and see signs of her there, as well as of my dad, one of the three children she buried. It reminds me of the most wonderful childhood, and the most wonderful parents and Granny, anyone could ever want. It's pretty hard to get too upset about wrinkles or jowls or bags when they all point to such happiness long ago -- and, even better, to future joy forevermore.

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Hoping to keep all your marbles?

8/10/2024

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Remember when high cholesterol was Public Enemy #1?

Oh, that’s right, it still is. Unless you happen to be between the ages of 85 and 94. Because at that advanced age, you’ll actually be better off with high cholesterol, cognitively speaking.

That, at least, is what one study has reported. (It must be a good one, because it’s based on something called the “Framingham cohort.” I don't have a clue what that is, but doesn't it sound impressive?)

Here’s what its authors discovered:

“Investigators found that cognitively intact people between the ages of 85 and 94 whose total cholesterol had increased from midlife had a 32% reduced risk for marked cognitive decline during the next decade, compared with individuals aged 75 to 84, who had a 50% increased risk.”

No word yet on whether we should toss the statin drugs and start pounding the eggs and butter when we hit 83.5. (Remember how eggs and butter used to be bad for us, but now they’re not? Perhaps this phenomenon is why they’ve now been given the green light. )

Nor is there any word on what happens to cholesterol-infused brains at age 95.

What’s more, we can’t predict what the next group of researchers will learn. As this particular group reported, “an earlier study of the original Framingham cohort found no significant association between cholesterol and [Alzheimer’s disease].”

What's more, the jury is apparently still out on high cholesterol's impact on mortality in the very elderly. And other researchers have reported that even "good" cholesterol is really bad for us, dementia-wise.

So it's probably safe to say that only God knows the truth about these matters. The best advice for the health-conscious may be simply this: Stay tuned.

In the meantime, keep an eye out for a study that weighs that relative value of people suffering from cognitive decline, vs. those who retain all their marbles into great old age. Perhaps an enterprising future generation of researchers will find that, marbles or not, we all will die and head for eternities of unimaginable joy or interminable suffering.

Perhaps they’ll also realize that our ultimate destinations would be a far more worthy subject to investigate.

This book might give them a head start on answering this most critical question. Better yet, this book!

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Understanding Alzheimer's

7/31/2024

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The incidence of Alzheimer's disease is clearly skyrocketing in the U.S.

If you're looking for an easy-to-read guide to Alzheimer's, check out "Behavioral Challenges: A Nurse’s Practical Tips for Understanding Alzheimer’s." Sarah from NursingEducation sent us the link. As she explained:

“Nearly 7 million Americans aged 65 and older live with Alzheimer’s disease, which affects thought, speech, and movement. To support caregivers in managing the challenging behaviors associated with this condition, we’ve developed a comprehensive, medically-reviewed guide offering expert advice and strategies to provide the best possible support for caregivers and their loved ones.

“The guide includes:

An overview of the stages of Alzheimer’s disease
How to recognize common behavioral challenges in Alzheimer’s patients
Tactics to help manage behavioral challenges such as aggression, anxiety, depression, confusion, sundowning, or wandering
Medical and non-medical intervention options available to Alzheimer’s patients and their caregivers
Additional resources recommended by our nursing staff”

If you have a loved one suffering from this disease, we hope you’ll find this guide helpful.

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Guest Post: When one parent needs care...

5/15/2024

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Photo via Pexels

When One Parent Needs Care:

Tips for Finding the Right Nursing Home

By June Duncan

As your parents have gotten older, you’ve kept a closer eye on their health. Lately, you’ve realized that while one of them is still thriving and handling his or her responsibilities independently, the other needs more support than your family can give. Now, you’re faced with the difficult task of finding the right nursing home for one parent while helping your other parent adjust to their new lifestyle.

The following tips will help you talk about assisted living with your parents, make the most of facility tours, pay for nursing home fees, and more!

Start the Conversation
Perhaps your healthy parent has already spoken to his or her spouse about moving into a nursing facility. But if they haven’t had this conversation yet, it might be up to you to broach this tough topic. Make sure to approach the conversation gently, and choose a private time to have this discussion. Your parent may not be agreeable at first, so you might have to revisit the conversation again at a later time.

Types of Facilities
Which types of facilities should you look at? This completely depends on what kind of care your parent needs. Different senior-living facilities provide different medical services. Your parent might be best suited for assisted living with independent apartments, memory care, or a skilled nursing facility; explore all the options, and talk to your parent’s doctor about his or her recommendations.

Factors to Consider
You’ve figured out which type of facility you should be looking for. Now you’ve got your work cut out for you. First, determine where you want to look for a facility. Chances are, you’ll want to tour facilities close to where your parents live currently. But the National Institute on Aging explains that you’ll also need to consider a few other factors, such as cost, amenities and activities offered, and staffing.

You will also want to look up each facility that seems promising to ensure that they have not been flagged with any violations. And look for one that offers lots of engaging staff activities to make it easier for your parents to enjoy their time together during visits.

Tour Facilities
You don’t want to move your parent into a facility that you haven’t explored personally. Even if a particular facility seems nice on paper, you won’t know what it’s like in reality until you see it for yourself. Reach out to facilities that you’re interested in to schedule tours. Aim to visit during peak hours so that you can see how the facility runs when the staff is busy. Make sure to ask about the staff-to-resident ratio, too.

Downsizing Options
Once you’ve found the right facility for your ailing parent, the one who’s staying at home will need to start thinking about his or her downsizing options. HHe o He or she might be interested in moving to a smaller home, condo, or apartment. Alternatively, he or she may be happiest moving into an independent living facility, to become part of a community of seniors.

Financing Care
Nursing home fees can be quite expensive. Perhaps your parents have long-term-care insurance to cover this expense. Or they may be able to use the profits from a home sale – with or without pre-marketing updates - to fund the cost. (Keep in mind that if your parents owned a historic home, it’s a good idea to avoid remodeling it before putting it up for sale.)

If your parent doesn’t plan to downsize, or you know that any profits from the sale of your family home won’t be enough, you’ll need to consider alternative strategies for financing care. Elder Needs Law states that you may be able to pay with cash from your parents’ retirement savings or take out a reverse mortgage on the home. Depending on your parents’ assets, they might qualify for Medicaid coverage.

Alleviate Stress
There’s no denying it - searching for the right nursing home can be grueling. It’s not easy to handle such an emotionally charged task without getting overwhelmed. When you feel like you’re about to crack, it’s a sign that you need to take a step back and focus on alleviating your stress. Sometimes, pausing to simply take a deep breath can work wonders for your mood.

If you’re feeling lonely during this process, you may want to reach out to friends who have been through similar situations before. You’re not the first person to face this scenario, and people who have walked in your shoes will generally be more than willing to give you tips and advice. Caring for your parents in their golden years is not easy, and it’s normal to feel stressed sometimes.

Regular Visits
When moving day rolls around for your parent, you will probably want to hire movers for assistance. Although their room will be furnished, they will want some of their belongings from home, and if you can’t transport heavy items on your own, movers will make the entire day easier.

Once your parent is comfortably settled in, you’ll want to spend time with him or her to help in the adjustment to these new surroundings, especially if memory loss is an issue. Furthermore, it’s a good opportunity to discuss when you’ll be back for your next visit. Talk to both of your parents about regular visits, and if necessary, be available to drive your other parent over to the nursing home for family time. You will definitely want to check in on your parent frequently to make sure he or she is being well cared for.

Arrange Home Services
Your stay-at-home parent may need a bit of extra help around the house now that he or she is living alone. If you don’t have the time to come over and personally lend a hand, it’s good to budget for home services to ease the domestic burden. When necessary, you can also bring in home-care specialists to provide various degrees of medical services, from basic care to memory and specialized care. Visit these organizations online to learn more about how they can help your loved one age in place.

You may also need to hire a cleaning service, bring in reputable home-maintenance contractors, and possibly pay for a landscaper to take care of outdoor maintenance.

Keep the One at Home Company
Right now, your parent at home might be feeling very lonely. After all, they lived together for years, and no doubt hoped that they would never see a day when the two of them would have to live apart. This is a time when you will want to go above and beyond for your healthy parent.

Think about how you can be there for your parent. Can you swing by to visit him or her on the weekend and have dinner together? Could you plan fun outings and day trips? Would you be able to host both of them for visits in your home? Anything you can do to lift each one’s spirits will be much appreciated.

Make the Best of a Difficult Situation
Helping one of your parents move into a nursing home isn’t easy. But with the right approach, you find a comfortable, safe home for your parent, budget for nursing home fees, and keep your own stress levels low throughout the process.

About the author
June Duncan is the co-creator of Rise Up for Caregivers, which offers support for family members and friends who have taken on the responsibility of caring for their loved ones. She is author of the upcoming book, The Complete Guide to Caregiving: A Daily Companion for New Senior Caregivers.

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Counter-revolution starts here

4/29/2024

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Some time ago, on a morning talk show, I saw a couple of fathers disagreeing about whether it’s a school’s job to punish kids or the parents’ job. At issue was some school making young graffiti artists remove the “work” they’d “created” in the bathroom.

Really? You need to argue about this?

To find the wisest solution, all we need to do is to look at how schools handled such unpleasantness back in the 1950s – the last decade of sanity in this country. Pupils in Eisenhower’s America didn’t even get away with chewing gum or talking in class. Disrespect could be met with a swat on the bottom. After-school punishments ranged from being forced to sit at your desk reviewing the day’s most boring lesson (pure torture even in the middle of winter) to standing outside, cleaning erasers (by clapping them together, not on the side of the school building). Even passing notes could earn you a trip to the principal’s office and a call home to parents who greeted such misbehavior with grounding or removal of telephone privileges.

Things have obviously changed a lot since then, and not for the better. So why don’t 21st century educators and parents look to the past to figure out what’s gone wrong, and how to make it right again?

I suppose one answer is that it’s not that simple. Our entire culture is collapsing, perhaps beyond repair, starting with the epidemic of broken homes and parents who simply don’t care about their children’s futures.

But isn’t that all the more reason for documenting the past, and coming up with a plan for reconstructing it, while its architects are still around to tell us all about it?

A solid first step would be visiting some nursing-home residents and asking them what it was like to grow up or raise children in the 1940s or 1950s. I can almost guarantee that you’ll have a great time learning about the good old days. And you might just walk away with some ammunition for launching a counter-revolution in your own family or community.

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Guest Post: Navigating the Transition

3/15/2024

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Photo by Freepik

Key Considerations When Exploring

Assisted Living or Nursing Home Care

By June Duncan

Finding the right assisted living or nursing home community can be overwhelming; however, it's a crucial decision that requires thorough research and consideration. Prioritizing certain factors can significantly impact the quality of care and overall experience for you or your loved one. In today’s post, we outline key considerations to guide you through this important process.

Research the Right Facility

Utilize online resources to find detailed facility reports and pricing information, allowing for informed decision-making. Transparency in information demonstrates a commitment to openness and accountability. Read reviews from other families to gauge satisfaction and suitability, gaining insights into the daily life and atmosphere of the facility. Evaluate payment options and available amenities for a comprehensive understanding of what each facility offers and how it aligns with your preferences and needs.

Investigate Staffing and Reputation

Assess the staff-to-resident ratio to ensure personalized attention and care. A lower ratio often means residents receive more individualized support, fostering a sense of community and security. Verify the qualifications of healthcare professionals for expertise and competence, ensuring they possess the necessary credentials and experience to meet your needs. Research the facility's reputation for consistent, high-quality care provision by seeking feedback from current and former residents and their families. A strong reputation indicates a commitment to excellence and resident satisfaction.

Understand the Full Cost of Care

Gain clarity on the complete cost of care, including any additional fees that may arise over time. Transparency in pricing fosters trust and confidence in the facility's financial practices. Consider budgetary implications and financial planning for comprehensive coverage, allowing for peace of mind knowing all expenses are accounted for and manageable within your means.

Create a Financial Plan

Exploring the financial aspects of transitioning into assisted living or nursing home care is crucial, with costs often being a significant factor in decision-making. For those considering leveraging their home's equity, understanding the net proceeds from a sale is essential. This involves accounting for any realtor commissions, the remaining mortgage balance, and local market trends that influence sale prices. Such financial preparation not only illuminates the feasibility of affording quality care but also aids in planning for a sustainable future in a chosen community.

Ensure Safety and Accessibility

Confirm adherence to safety standards for peace of mind and assurance of a secure living environment. Safety protocols and procedures should be readily available and consistently enforced to mitigate risks and ensure resident well-being. Look for accommodations for mobility issues, such as handrails and wheelchair ramps, to promote independence and accessibility. Ensure the presence of emergency response systems for prompt assistance during unforeseen circumstances, providing reassurance to residents and their families.

Explore the Range of Services

Evaluate the breadth of services offered, from medical care to recreational activities, to ensure comprehensive support for physical, emotional, and social well-being. A diverse range of services caters to varying needs and interests, promoting a fulfilling and enriching lifestyle for residents. Consider amenities like private rooms, gardens, and recreational areas for enhanced quality of life and enjoyment of daily living.

Consider Location and Proximity

Assess the location relative to family, friends, and familiar surroundings for emotional support and social connections. Proximity to loved ones facilitates regular visits and involvement in the resident's life, promoting a sense of belonging and community. Ensure easy access to local healthcare facilities for comprehensive medical care and specialized services, minimizing logistical challenges and ensuring prompt attention to healthcare needs.

Prioritize Individualized Care Plans

The adaptability of care plans to individual health and wellness requirements is also paramount. It's essential to engage with facilities that offer customized care strategies, ensuring they can accommodate the evolving needs of residents. This includes evaluating how the community assesses and adjusts these plans over time, reflecting changes in health status or personal preferences. By prioritizing personalized care, one can secure an environment that not only meets current needs but also adapts to future changes, fostering a sense of security and well-being.

Finding the right assisted living or nursing home care involves thorough research and consideration of various factors. By prioritizing staffing, reputation, costs, safety, and more, you can make an informed decision that prioritizes quality of life and well-being. Remember, each individual's needs are unique, so take the time to find the perfect fit.

About the author

June Duncan is the co-creator of Rise Up for Caregivers, which offers support for family members and friends who have taken on the responsibility of caring for their loved ones. She is author of the upcoming book, The Complete Guide to Caregiving: A Daily Companion for New Senior Caregivers.

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Might she be your calling?

12/20/2023

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I've often heard Christian friends wonder aloud what God would have them do with their lives, now that they're securely heaven-bound and feel compelled to serve Him. If you're wondering the same thing, have you ever considered conducting a Bible study at a nearby nursing home?

Our post-COVID Bible Time numbers at "my" nursing home have dwindled considerably compared to our pre-2020 attendance, with typical weekly attendance averaging just seven residents. But today's smaller numbers make our sessions even more warm and loving, with lots of participation among our faithful attendees.

We've settled into a new format that everyone seems to appreciate. We spend the first half hour or so on readings directly from the Bible, or from a well-vetted book on a compelling subject. We devote the second half hour to various articles, essays and talks on topics ranging from the names of God to why He allows His children to suffer. We pray. And in the midst of it all, we belt out a few classic hymns with singers like Jim Nabors and Tennessee Ernie Ford.

Just to give you an idea of the Bible-based readings that work for us, this past summer, we read through the highlights of Randy Alcorn’s riveting book Heaven. At over 500 pages, it’s a comprehensive analysis of what the Bible says about the believer’s ultimate destination, as well as what various theologians have added to the discourse over the years. It seems that many of us have some major misconceptions about eternity; in Heaven, Alcorn addresses them one by one, providing a biblically accurate picture of the “happily ever after” awaiting every born-again Christian.

At the moment, we're finishing up the late Phillip Keller’s peerless A Shepherd Looks at the 23rd Psalm. This heart-warming book has taken us deep into the extraordinary ways the Good Shepherd cares for His flock. The 23rd Psalm may be only six verses. But thanks to real-life shepherd Keller’s charming explanations of each one, our group has found this psalm to be a wonderful source of divinely inspired comfort, support and joy to sustain us through virtually any trial.

Next up: Tim Keesee's terrific new book A Day's Journey: Stories of Hope and Death-Defying Joy. It's a truly thought-provoking, encouraging and God-glorifying read, especially for those of us waiting patiently on the cusp of eternity – which means virtually everyone, it seems to me.

How about you?

If you have a heart for the elderly, a love for the Lord, and a little time to spare, I hope you’ll consider conducting a Bible discussion of your own at a nearby nursing home or assisted-living facility. Simply contact the Activities Director or Administrator to introduce yourself and make your pitch. If you’re turned down by the first one, keep trying; the Lord will open just the right door for you.

If I can be of any encouragement, don’t hesitate to get in touch. I’d be happy to share my week-by-week outlines with you, if you need some help getting started.

Don’t wait – there are undoubtedly some elderly folks in your area who are hungering and thirsting for someone like you to share the word of God with them.

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Caring for someone with special needs? Check out this handy guide!

Agape in action

Where's your treasure?

Loving what you see in the mirror

Hoping to keep all your marbles?

Understanding Alzheimer's

Guest Post: When one parent needs care...

Counter-revolution starts here

Guest Post: Navigating the Transition

Might she be your calling?

Kitty
Foth-Regner

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Kitty
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