Everlasting Place
  • Home
  • One way
    • Proof
  • Sadie Sparrow
    • Sadie Sparrow Excerpt
    • Author Chat
    • Articles
    • Book Reviews
  • Memoir
    • Memoir Excerpts
    • Reviews, interviews & endorsements
  • Blogs
    • Eternal eyes: a blog about forever
    • Golden years: a blog about the elderly
  • Old folks
    • Planting tips for Christians
  • Messages from Chris Carrillo
  • Library
  • Bookstore
  • Contact

Until we meet again

10/25/2017

4 Comments

 
Picture
Doris in her 20s, circa 1947
When you spend much time volunteering in a nursing home, you’re bound to suffer some losses over the years – losses in the sense of temporary separation from people you’ve grown close to, who have gone on ahead to heaven. And indeed, 2017 has been a doozy for me from that standpoint. Three very good friends died unexpectedly in late winter, and another in spring. 
 
And then there was the home-going of my dearest friend Doris, at age 97.75, on October 8th.
 
Over the last almost six years, Doris and I spent a great deal of quality time together, lunching weekly with her amazing daughter, visiting and singing and jabbering, sifting through thousands of her family photos, and wrapping up nearly every Friday afternoon with a spirited scrapbooking session during which we tried to artfully arrange the best of those photos – some dating back to before the turn of the last century.
 
Being so immersed in this photographic history, I got to know Doris and her family very well over the years. I learned all about the courage of her mother Lydia, widowed at an early age; about the love and humor of her husband Frank; and about the extraordinary kindness of her mother-, father- and sister-in-law.
 
Of special note were loving characters like Uncle Gus’s wife Aunt Coddle. She insisted on hand-making young Doris’s special-occasion dresses for such events as her First Communion. These dresses weren’t exactly fashionable, as the photographic evidence demonstrates. In fact, the prospect of having to wear them out in public sent Doris to her mother in tears, hoping that she’d be told she could wear something else.

But no dice. Lydia invariably said, “Oh, I know it’s awful, Doris dear, but Aunt Coddle would be so hurt if you didn’t wear it. You’re just going to have to.” And so she did.
 
Maybe it was being raised by a mother like Lydia that gave Doris such a compassionate heart. Because in my eyes, at least, she was the epitome of the Christian woman – a doer of the word, not just a hearer (James 1:22).
 
Perhaps most telling, I never once heard her say an unkind word to anyone, or about anyone. Never. On the contrary, she always greeted staff and residents with the friendliest “Hello!” you’ve ever heard, and the brightest smile. And she often commented on what terrific people they were when they were out of earshot.
 
Nor did I ever hear her complain about anything. Not once. Not when a neighbor was ear-splittingly noisy, a staffer was cross, a fellow resident gobbled down all her chocolates, or an aide was painfully slow to respond to a call light. Not even when reflooring the hallways necessitated detours that were inconvenient for all and a trial for a 90-something woman relying on a walker; rather than complaining about it, she lauded the workers, complimenting them enthusiastically on their efforts.
 
What’s more, Doris seemed to be obsessed with your comfort, especially when you were sitting in her room. She wanted you to take the best chair. She wanted the temperature to be set at your comfort level. She wanted you to have just the right amount of the right kind of light, incandescent or fluorescent, for the task at hand.
 
The foundation of it all: a heart filled to overflowing with gratitude.
 
“I’ve had such a wonderful life,” Doris said more than once. And indeed, it was clearly a life filled with love and simple pleasures – her wonderful extended family, a relatively modest but well-built and tidy home, long lists of girlfriends who got together regularly, family vacations at rented cottages in northern Wisconsin, volunteer work at a local hospital.
 
This gratitude continued into the last years of her life. Even though her daughter made repeated efforts to persuade her mother to come live with her, Doris kindly refused. She found Care-age beautiful, loved the staff and her fellow residents, nested happily in a room filled with family photos and favorite knickknacks, appreciated the food and courtyard garden and thoroughly enjoyed the constant slate of activities, all tailored to the interests and abilities of her generation.
 
And now I wonder: If this splendid woman found so much to love about this fallen world, even while dealing with the infirmities of great old age, how do you suppose she’s finding heaven?
 
Doris was one of a kind, and I will never forget her. Happily, thanks to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, that won’t ever be necessary; we’ll both be in that happy, heavenly throng, singing our hearts out in worship (and, she and I always hoped, doing so with far more beautiful voices than those we had in this life).
4 Comments
Ron
10/26/2017 02:47:57 pm

What a beautiful post Kitty! Such a loving and thoughtful way to tell us about your relationship with a dear friend. God has most certainly given you a heart to minister to the elderly.

Reply
Kitty Foth-Regner link
10/26/2017 03:12:32 pm

Thanks, Ron. It's my prayer that others will get busy looking for their own Dorises -- she was extraordinary, but I'm sure there are others like her in nursing homes across the country, just waiting for special friends to pop into their lives.

Reply
Jean Kelly
11/13/2017 12:33:38 pm

Kitty, having met your Doris I have to say it brings tears to read such a beautiful passage about such a beautiful lady and the relationship you had. Your love for the dear souls at Care-Age is so evident. God love you and those you minister to.

Reply
Kitty Foth-Regner link
11/14/2017 11:18:53 am

It's pretty easy to love these people, Jean, as you know only too well! And Doris? Ah, she was one in a zillion.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Kitty
    Foth-Regner

    I'm a follower of Jesus Christ, a freelance copywriter, a nursing-home volunteer, and the author of books both in-process and published -- including
    Heaven Without Her.

    Archives

    September 2024
    August 2024
    July 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    December 2023
    September 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    September 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

    Care to subscribe?

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

Proudly powered by Weebly
Photos from Anas Qtiesh, quinn.anya, skippyjon, gagilas, ulrichkarljoho, Schleeo, djpoblete09, 00alexx, NathanPeck, Riccardo Palazzani, MaartenEyskens, jfinnirwin, romana klee, bundesinnung_ha, theglobalpanorama, Street Photography Addict, StockMonkeys.com, Robert Agthe, Genista, Neillwphoto, frankieleon, RamónP, National Eye Institute, Pink Dispatcher, Tony Webster, quinn.anya, Peter23394, anna gutermuth, neovain, Keith Allison, lewisha1990, Phú Thịnh Co, byzantiumbooks, avlxyz, eastmidtown, 593D ESC, simpleinsomnia, mcohen.chromiste, Pictures by Ann, Stampendous, loop_oh, tedeytan, TipsForComputer.Com, ssilberman, pedrosimoes7, forayinto35mm, Never Edit, GlasgowAmateur, weiss_paarz_photos, Borya, The Graphic Details, robynejay, allenthepostman, quinn.anya, u.hopper, fallingwater123, Alyssa L. Miller, Vincent Albanese, homethods, ponyQ, Braiu, CNE CNA C6F, oakenroad, Tim Evanson, medisave, irinaraquel, Steve Ganz, Nieve44/Luz, roscoland2, One Way Stock, Film Star Vintage, shixart1985 (CC BY 2.0), ulrichkarljoho, anieto2k, meaduva, Homini:), campbelj45ca, Nicolas Alejandro Street Photography, Hades2k, wuestenigel (CC BY 2.0), Alyssa L. Miller, Carlos Ebert, @Tuncay, kms1167, Petful.com, m01229, jonrawlinson, Brian Smithson (Old Geordie), Blogging Dagger, fechi fajardo, wuestenigel (CC BY 2.0), SurfaceWarriors, Leah Abernathy, evans.photo, brianna.lehman, mikecogh, Ejuice, christine.gleason, Free Grunge Textures - www.freestock.ca, Derek Bridges, ulrichkarljoho, One Way Stock, Matt Cunnelly, nandadevieast, cathyse97, quinn.anya, faungg's photo, Lars Plougmann, C Jill Reed, johnthoward1961, mcohen.chromiste, hardeep.singh, physiognomist, ulrichkarljoho, 401(K) 2013, Very Quiet, BromfordGroup, garryknight, Official U.S. Navy Imagery, acasasola, mrbillt6, simpleinsomnia, johanSisno, GollyGforce, Jo Jakeman, Mire de rien, Chris Mower, lotopspin, Marlene Rybka Visualizing & Photography, RLHyde, jez.atkinson, orionpozo, quinn.anya, global.quiz, Public Places, alubavin, drs2biz, espensorvik, ♔ Georgie R, h.koppdelaney, Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com, Images_of_Money, ttarasiuk, TheArches, tlillis4, verchmarco, Sogn og Fjordane fylkeskommune, lookcatalog, Matt Preston, h.koppdelaney, ChodHound, JarleR, Savio Sebastian, Anne Worner, Salem State Archives, WeVe1, Mel B., Mr Moss, cattan2011, Bryan Pocius, smilygrl, CMFRIESE, Rosmarie Voegtli, Tim & Selena Middleton, Robb North, Steven Pisano, x1klima, Go-tea 郭天, inkknife_2000 (9.5 million views), chamko rani, MattX27, Leonard J Matthews, Brett Jordan, Waiting For The Word, suzannelong, rossomoto, danielsteuri, Carlos Ebert, Pintanescu, blondinrikard, adeleblancsec2015, photomaticographer, speciaali, dumbledad, LuxFactory, Pascal Volk, sarahstierch, kenteegardin, mripp, Pictures by Ann, alh1, CthulhuWho1 (Will Hart), Sthetic, My Buffo, Un ragazzo chiamato Bi, WVTROUT, CasparGirl, x1klima, andrey_zharkikh, Robert's Life in Colour, Clare Storry, Monique Broekhuisen, unicoletti, ThoroughlyReviewed, vmiramontes, Pictures by Ann, simpleinsomnia, pj_vanf, DPP Business and Tax, h.koppdelaney, REM Photo, Sebastian Cabuyales, “Caveman Chuck” Coker, cdsessums, Miguel Discart (Photos Vrac), Artist in doing nothing., Bhavishya Goel, RichardJames1990, y_egan, campbelj45ca, Mobilus In Mobili, shixart1985, Pontalain, manoftaste.de, The Random Hiccup, Arian Zwegers, mac_ivan, cod_gabriel, simpleinsomnia, ulrichkarljoho, rawpixel.com, Ian @ ThePaperboy.com, Rennett Stowe, shixart1985, Elvert Barnes, marc falardeau, wuestenigel, USACE HQ, greger.ravik, Gunnshots, Bhumi Finding Herself, F L I R S T - Palk Clap, archer10 (Dennis) 133M Views, Clonadamas, Leonard J Matthews, kinglear55, Kurayba, Damian Gadal, investmentzen, fechi fajardo, MilitaryHealth, illustir, Laurel L. Russwurm, Phillip Pessar, Jim Makos, wuestenigel, romanboed, Ben Taylor55, quinn.anya, Commander, U.S. 7th Fleet, foundin_a_attic, Isengardt, chenines, Deni Williams, ulrichkarljoho, alberto.biscalchin, UAV Filming, Double--M, StoryTravelers, jimjarmo, KellyReeves, Robert Couse-Baker, gurdonark, A_Peach (offline until Xmas)